Some years ago
... I was out clubbing with my mate Joanne. We were stood next to each other at the edge of the dancefloor, swaying to the cheese, when a guy snuck up behind us.

He stuck his head between us and yelled down our ears, "I bet you LOVE IT when I do this..." and proceeded to goose us in perfect sync (more like an invasive sexual assault in truth because his hands ended up under my skirt and well between the cheeks of my arse - and he was far from gentle), then laugh like a twat.
Jo and I looked at each other, and then as one in a perfect ballet, she threw her drink over him and I stubbed my cigarette out on his shirt collar.
In unison we chorused, "I bet you LOVE IT when we do that...."

He didn't. He kicked off. The bouncers thought he deserved it though. As one of them pointed out, "If you'd have done that on the street, mate, you'd be being arrested right now. Think yourself lucky."

Take note lads - manhandling a strange woman's arse may get you hurt.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Thu 10 Dec 2009, 23:10, Reply)