Socked it to her
I was 15. Deborah Turnbull had the best legs in the class, and her knockers were highly praiseworthy also. But she was also a bit of brain. It was going to take something unusual to sway her.

That's why I decided that the best way to woo her was to tuck my trousers into my socks and show her my 'cow's leg' flask I'd bought on holiday in Spain (a heinous tube of real calfskin with a genuine varnished hoof glued to the end).

The result was that I became widely known as a bit of a twat and remained a virgin until I was 24.

And they tell me women like a sense of humour...
(Fothermucker, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 16:13, Reply)