"Being attacked very badly"
As a kid I liked to stay up late and watch the news with mum and dad.

A report of a vicious rape comes on the News at 10.

Me: "Mum, what does rape mean?".

Mum: "errmm, errmmm...it means to be attacked very badly".

2 weeks later I was (genuinely) attacked very badly by an Alsatian dog.

Imagine the hilarity when I told my less innocent peers and school teachers that I had been "raped very badly by a big Alsatian dog". I retold the story well into my teens until someone was kind enough to reveal the true meaning.

oh dear.

first post (as a born again b3taean) - be gentle.
(griffo, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 9:05, 8 replies)

Ha Ha!...

for the story, by the way, not for the dogrape...sorry about that.

Nice first post - allow me to pop your click cherry.

*click*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 9:17, closed)

Yeah, you like that don't you, you filthy mare.

(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 9:20, closed)

My mum told me it was when a man forced a woman to marry him
Which kind of satisfied me, but I couldn't work out how that was possible. I mean, did he have a vicar on stand-by? And surely women would learn to be wary of men prowling the streets carrying large tiered cakes?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 9:47, closed)

Hahahahahaa
Misinforming children for one's personal amusement is ace.

My nephew thinks that sheep come from the woolen "seeds" you find in fields.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 10:14, closed)

You can also tell them
that the black bags you see in fields about this time of year are cow eggs. Freak the little bugger out.
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Fri 20 Jan 2012, 9:29, closed)

click

( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 12:11, closed)

Good lord!
That's pretty damn funny though.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:20, closed)

They told me that it meant
Ripping the clothes off of someone.
(karnuvap, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 14:46, closed)

Nice post
Not the rapey bit obviously....but you get my drift.


Ooh you big porky pie teller this isn't your first post, or is it a born again B3tan sort of thing?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:08, closed)

crikey, you're right
seems i posted some rubbish ages ago that i had forgotten about! Well, yeah, reborn. I like that.
(griffo, Thu 19 Jan 2012, 15:23, closed)