Well, as there are some people who are exhibiting slightly childish behaviour on here...
...me and Spanky decided to post this story specially for one little person


Undercovercarrot and SpankyHanky, the two most sexually prolific and fit guys on B3TA, had just come back from a Star Trek convention in their Honda Accord. Spanky stopped off to score some amazingly powerful Skunk, whilst Carrot nipped out for a litre of medicinal brandy and a waterbutt of absinthe. Carrot and Spanky found a bag at the side of the road, when they opened it they were immediately infected with autism, it was worse than the time when they visited Amsterdam and fucked every single whore (including the lady boys) up the jacksy, producing so much excess manfat that the canals were running white for days, and they were both awarded Dutch citizenship and elected onto the secret world order for their efforts and now secretly watch over each and every living human from their pulsating pink phallic towers, jacking off, in an autistic way. On account of the autism.

That was nice.

As they returned to the car, they noticed a young lady being assaulted by 15 very fat women who had heard of the enormous size of Carrot and Spanky's cocks. With a warlike scream, Carrot whipped out some nunchucks he happened to have in the boot of the Accord and beat them all to a pulp whilst Spanky rescued the damsel in distress. As thanks, she let Spanky and Carrot spitroast her until she orgasmed herself to death.

"Well," said Spanky "that was fun. I feel like my cock has had every last drop of jism squeezed out of it."

"Lucky for you" said Carrot. "I have been unable to ejaculate since my botched circumcision aged 15."

Then they both skipped off to shag Maddie's corpse. Again.

No apologies for length or troll baiting.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 13:58, 9 replies)

I can vouch for this.
It is absolutley, unequivocally 100 % FACT.

EDIT: Except we both acutally shagged Jordan on the way home too, but on account of her incredibly voluminous gash she didn't even notice. Oh, and we ate a nice pie. It was apple and spaniel flavour.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:00, closed)

*clicks*
It's got to be the finest post so far this week.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:04, closed)

You lying cunt
It had no apple in it whatsoever!
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:06, closed)

*SOBS*
Yes, you're absolutely RIGHT!!! Carrott, I LIED!!! JESUS is going to HUNT me down now and infect me with HOLY AUTISM!!! ARRRGGGHHHH !!!


Now lets get on with the proper posts, ehh???

Cheers
( SpankyHanky, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:08, closed)

I see what you've done there
*clicks harder than a hard thing*
(Lizard King, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:04, closed)

Funny cuz its true
or somethin like that. hehehe.
(monkeyboy1, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:09, closed)

clicks
that is all
(stonethecrows is badder than a bad thing on, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:11, closed)

POIDH
and a click
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 14:41, closed)

Well...
That'll keep me in fwap for months.

ta!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Tue 22 Sep 2009, 12:14, closed)