Mrs Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff is so short that her feet don't touch the floor when she sits on her office chair.
So when she has her headset on (she may be talking on Skype or listening to music or something) I run in and grab her chair and pull it about 2 meters away from the computer desk so she can't reach the keyboard.

One time, Mrs C and I were stood on a bridge overlooking a river and a weir. It was a romantic evening as we stood looking at the water. I thought it would be a romantic gesture to push her face into some (dried and rock-hard) seagull poo encrusted onto the parapet of the bridge. At least it wasn't still wet.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 18 Sep 2009, 16:06, 1 reply)

I like to..
edge closer and closer into the bushes when I'm walking outside with the missus, just to see how close I can get before she realises what I'm trying to do - or ends up in a hedge, or both.
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 19 Sep 2009, 14:26, closed)