Currently in trouble with my girlfriend...
She's got one of her mentalist full on Welshy mates over from Cardiff for the weekend, a girl (and I use that phrase grudgingly because swamp-monster-dripping-pissy-stench-goo-and-puss-from-every-fucking-orifice-while-strangely-looking-like-a-hairy-fucking-transvestite-gorilla isn't PC, apparently) named Emma.

So I spent today listening to Emma's cackling, mind-numbing anecdotes - the sort you could get wheeled into theatre for open heart surgery without the need for anesthetic after listening to for a couple of excrutiatingly painful minutes.

So, its lunchtime. My girlfriend, Liz, decides it would be nice to go for a pub meal. The three of us venture out to the local just across from the flat. As we go, Emma starts up the latest diatribe about who's contracted an STD back in Cardiff, or some other such lovely mealtime conversation.

We get to the pub door. I stop. I've officially had enough. I see the sign. I know I shouldn't but the childish side of me just can't help it. I turn while pointing at the sign and say to Emma: "Sorry, love - you're not allowed in here." And I walk between the heavy doors to get a much needed pint in.

Liz and Emma follow. Liz isn't happy at all. Emma isn't too pleased either.

The sign was taped to the window and it said simply: NO DOGS ALLOWED
( SpankyHanky, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 2:19, 2 replies)

Dear old Spanky
Has anybody ever pointed you to the "No Trolls Allowed" sign?
( Tiffany Aching 's bowl of oatmeal tried to stare her down and won, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 2:22, closed)

You must be joking...
Spanky's posts light up the qotw like a fart that's been set on fire - beautiful, hilarious, but oh so slightly wrong
(SoneMe, Sun 20 Sep 2009, 10:31, closed)