I was brought up a Catholic
One of the reasons for the atheism of my adult life. My dad was in charge of the altar servers. So I too paraded around on a Sunday morning wearing a floor length red dress cassock with a smaller white frilly dress surplice over the top. I'm sure my parents thought I looked angelic I loathed it but put up with it while I was too small to argue

Now Catholics think that in order to be close to God you must have a really long service especially if it's a one of the biggies like Easter Sunday. So this Easter Sunday I would have been about 6 years old and I was up on the massive shinny floored altar along with about 15 fellow little angels. Father wossname started out on one of his legendary rambling sermons. My mind wandered to the pile of choc eggs waiting for me back home. Then a small thought interrupted this reverie need a wee. Unfortunately I was the other side of the altar from the door so I decided to hold on until Father wossname had finished. He didn't and this small thought soon became NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE NEED A WEE ohh

I pissed myself, copiously as it turned out and a shinning river of piss trickled down the steps of the altar like a little yellow weir. I bet Dawkins has never pissed on an Altar ;)

Also during this time called a nun a cunt because John Paul Parker told me it would be funny, in hindsight it was hilarious although at the time I got the bollocking from hell
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 1 Sep 2011, 15:27, Reply)