Anyone sad enough to
be watching channel 4's new series of 'Brat camp' may have noticed a girl called -redacted-. This particular individulal is a nasty peice of work, and going to school with her for two years is one of my few modest claims to fame. And now all the shit that the channel 4 forums won't let me show:

*Her real name is -redacted-, according to her passport, a copy of which one of my mates nicked from her bag when she pissed us all of. Yet the name on the school's register was ;

*She used to stuff her bra, prooved when her ex-boyfriend showed the entire 1st XI rugby team nude photos of her before the game against -redacted- college. We drew the match;

*She honestly thought for a long while she was black, her idiom changed accordingly up to the point where she would spurt such profanities as 'im gonna kick yo ass biatch' in a defined middle-england boarding school accent;

*No-one liked her, ever, not even her parents;

*She used to charge £20 for blowjobs down the woods, and a conspiracy even formed that teachers were taking advantage of this offer. later prooved to be bollocks, but the blowjob bit is true;

*Her nick-names have included frog-face, platypus, terry's chocolate orange, prick tease;

*In year 11 she had really bad facial hair and she was presented with a gillete sensor excell quatro (the best a man can get), which was hilarious, as the stubble on her face was visible at close range;

*She once inserted a tampon with 4 other people in the room. Sick bitch;

*She used to set off fire alarms at 2am in the morning (this is a boarding school remember), entirely on the motive of being able to run down, half naked to the fire assembly point, in front of every male member of the school;

*The schools she has been expelled from include -redacted-, where I knew her, and her name will forever live in infamy.

Yea, as I said, that was just the stuff I couldn't put on the C4 website, possibly because there are laws against it or something. This has mainly been for the amusement of the author.

Oh yeah, and I ordered steak at Rick Stein's resturant once when I was 8 and told the great man himself it was 'shit'.
(Mr. Beef studio gash stylist, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 21:18, Reply)