Stars in ridiculously priced cars
On three occasions, I've come far too close to being run over. Whilst one involved a stupid bitch who didn't understand what a one-way sign meant, the other two have involved celebrities.

My mother likes a bargain. So whilst wandering along Marylebone High Street, she spotted a charity shop with what seemed to be a cut price Prada jacket in the window, rational thought and the Green Cross Code temporarily left her mind, and she darted across the road without checking for the presence of traffic beforehand.

Luckily, I'm not as easily distracted, and had spotted a relatively slow moving, but steadily approaching Bentley. I'm also significantly larger than my tiny mother, so ran after her, scooped her up and pushed her onto the far pavement before she ended up squashed. The driver, thankfully had seen my mum and applied the brakes, but still ended up coming to halt less than a foot from where I was standing.

I turned to make an apologetic hand gesture to the occupant of the car, upon which I realized that the person behind the wheel was none other than "music" mogul and living embodiment of Satan, Mr Simon Cowell. I cannot think of a more humiliating way to die than being run over by a colossal wanker in a massively bent powder-blue car. Well, I can, but you get the idea.

Also, my mum's dog once knocked Alan Hansen over. 2 weeks later, he failed to stop at a pedestrian crossing and nearly ran me down. I'd like to think the two were related.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 21 Sep 2012, 11:42, Reply)