"Fuck Off Pope!"
During the Pope's recent-ish visit to the UK I told him to fuck off. He isn't here anymore so it evidently worked...

I was walking down the main street in Wandsworth on my way to the cinema when a motorcade with a Popemobile type vehicle went past (quite slowly as the raods are busy round there). Seeing it was the Pope and voice overtaking thought I shouted "FUCK OFF POPE!" as loud as I could.

I then carried on my way to the cinema - at the next street corner there were a few people talking excitedly and looking at photos on their mobiles.

"That was the Pope just then right?" I asked one of them.
"Yes!" they enthused.
"Great, glad I didn't just tell the wrong person to fuck off".

Now that I have insulted the leader of one of the main world religions my life has become listless and stale. Evidently you should not realise major ambitions too early in life.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Sat 22 Sep 2012, 12:02, 4 replies)

Richard Dawkins
Would, no doubt have approved your actions.
(Mackeson_drinker, Sat 22 Sep 2012, 12:15, closed)

Try barking at postmen....
apparently it's just as effective. My dog manages to chase them off every day.
(Bosch balls, Sat 22 Sep 2012, 12:19, closed)

I do, I do.
They just keep coming back. I don't understand it, it's like there's a reason they keep turning up or something.

Anyway, I'll keep barking at them interspersed with screwing table legs and frotting myself on the curtains.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Sat 22 Sep 2012, 12:22, closed)

As long as you...
don't mix up barking at postmen and screwing table legs, you'll be fine.
(Bosch balls, Sat 22 Sep 2012, 13:09, closed)