Burtonry
I sincerely doubt this is going to be a popular opinion, but Tim Burton is without a doubt one of the biggest hacks to ever (dis)grace the silver screen. Pretty much everything the man touches turns into a masturbatory attention-grab in which he abandons plot in favour of gratuitously wanky visuals and Danny Elfman scores (which, I grant you, are usually pretty good). Of course, because he's so 'offbeat' and 'quirky' people -- especially people my age, and even more especially girls my age that I happen to be dating -- flock to him like he shits gold.

To anyone who argues otherwise, I direct you to the Batman films. He had two shots at it. In the first, we were treated to a goddamn Prince song smack bang in the middle (plus Jack Nicholson's Joker, which is also horribly overrated); in the second, you need look no further than the Red Triangle Gang -- a team of acrobats. ACROBATS. In Gotham City. By the time Joel Schumacher and his benippled Bat Suit got to the scene, there wasn't much dignity left to lose. All this, and they came freakishly close to letting him ruin a Superman movie as well. And what about Edward Scissorhands? If that's not a Mary-Sue tale of the po' little misunderstood artistic boy who finally gets to stab the popular-but-cruel jock right in his evil little heart, I don't know what is. Quirky doesn't necessarily equal interesting, but it seems that no one's mentioned this to him yet.

So yeah. Tim Burton? No, thanks.
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 5:15, Reply)