Right, don't think I've spotted this one yet
Cars, or more specifically car porn. Going all wobbly at the knees when you see some Aston Martin/Ferrari/whatever drive past/in a showroom/on Top Gear. The accepted social convention* for a bloke seems to be that you have to make cooing noises about how "beautiful" or "stunning" it is. I'll admit some cars look nice, but the don't take my breath away with their beauty.
I mean, there are people that talk about planes** or trains or some other subset of machines being beautiful, and they're 'sad' and so forth, but cars it's expected that this is done.

Oh, and while we're at it, does anyone actually understand all the technical nonsense which begins "V12 turbocharger" and then goes on in a load of terminology? Because my pet theory is that no-one does beyond "it makes it go faster" and it's all just the blokey equivalent of those L'Oreal adverts where there make up some impressive sounding words that mean nothing.

Ooh, that's ended up being quite long. Oh well.

*I think this question could have been renamed "What thing does society say you must like, but actually you don't?" Perhaps less snappy though.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:28, 9 replies)

Speaking of car porn..
I used to work in an internet cafe, and one day we had this 'unique' customer who kept printing out loads of pictures.

A short while after he'd left, I'd gone to top up the paper supply for the next customer, and in the print tray there were pictures of women, in bikinis, trying to get 4x4's out of muddy pits.

The site was something like 'girls stuck in mud' or something*

Is that classified as porn, or a fetish? - Wierd..

In the pub afterwards, I brought up this new discovery in conversation with some of the lads, and apparently it's quite a big fetish with some South Africans, Ironically - this guy was indeed, from South Africa.

*will look this up in a minute, just to confirm it still exists.

EDIT: Here they are:
www.carstuckgirls.com/
www.carstuckgirls.com/gallery.htm

Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting that South African's have a thing for womens crap driving in terrible road conditions whilst sporting very little in the clothing department, these facts in my tale are purely coincidental. That said, whatever floats your boat, or in this case - Jeep..
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 10:42, closed)

..
The technical stuff does mean something actually, apart from "Torque". It's a scientifically proven fact that no one in the world knows what torque means when applied to cars. It's one of life's great mysteries.
(Boar is dreaming of get rich quick schemes..., Sat 17 Oct 2009, 11:48, closed)

My brother reckoned that his Ford Capri was so 'torquey'
that when he revved it at traffic lights he could feel it twisting over to one side.

Yeah.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 13:24, closed)

True
And it's a bit strange that, because torque is the only measurement that matters.
(Super Jet Shoes, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 4:08, closed)

I sneered at car obsession on the first or second day
and yup, although I do own a car I don't find them interesting.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 13:32, closed)

Which means
you spend a considerable sum -- even if it's only a cheap car -- on something you don't enjoy. That's like going out and eating Pot Noodle every night because, hey, it's only food, eat to live man.
(Super Jet Shoes, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 4:09, closed)

gayer

(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 16:51, closed)

"Ooh, that's ended up being quite long"
:')
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 9:21, closed)

i know what all of those things mean
And so do lots of others, but if they tried to tell you, you wouldn't listen. It's ok though, cos if you're not interested, well, you know.....

Torque, though, I can help with in an amusing way;

Understeer is when the front of the var hits the wall.
Oversteer is when the back of the car hits the wall.
Power dictates how hard you hit the wall.
Torque dictates how far you pus the wall after you hit it.


And yeah, torque rocking the car. Big American V8s will do this so hard it's easily visible from the outside. A Capri? Well a V6 Capri might indeed.
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 16:36, closed)