The Life and Times of a Sainsbury's Customer Service Assistant
I used to work on the customer information desk at Sainsbury’s, as such it has been my pleasure to listen to and deal with a lot of customer complaints. Mostly they can be divided into a few simple categories, those than have genuinely been wrong and require a replacement product/refund etc, those than are just looking for an excuse to rant and complain with little or no real reason and those that are looking for something from nothing. Needless to say I have plenty of stories; the following three are my favourites:

The Miscarriage Lady

There was a lady who used to come in with a load of baby related products, they used to vary, maybe formula milk, sometimes a breast pump often it was simply a few baby dummies. She would dump them on the customer information desk and promptly burst into tears about how she'd bought all these products and had had a miscarriage and as such needed a refund. This would have been all the more effective if she a) ever had a receipt for any of the items b) occasionally got mixed up which supermarket she was in (some of the equipment would be Tesco branded) or indeed c) she didn’t try this trick every few months over the course of a year. She occasionally would catch a newbie unaware and get most of it refunded but more often than not she would be thrown out by security. Overall Verdict 6/10, probably wanted the money for drugs.

The TV Man

He strolled up to the customer information desk and plonked down a TV, insisted on a refund as he had bought the TV only last week and was now moving to Australia and wasn't about to take it with him. Fair enough, but he didn’t have a receipt and he just looked suspicious (you develop an idea of this sort of thing.) The store manager however was new and keen to make a good impression on the locals and gave the man a full refund (a few hundred quid) he walked, nay sprinted out of the store. Examination of the stores CCTV footage later showed he had simply walked into the store, picked up the TV and walked straight over to the customer information desk. Verdict 9/10, excellent scamming skills.

The Crisps Man

I think he must have snuck up on me but I remember turning around after attending to something else and he simply thrust an empty crisps packet in my face and demanded that I 'LOOK AT THIS!' this as it turned out was an empty packet of crisps, I’m sure you've all seen it occasionally a crisps packet which has been inflated with air at the factory but has no actual crisps in it. I apologised and offered him a refund for the entire multi packet of crisps. He seemed insulted and demanded to see the manager. The manager arrived and was told how every evening himself and his wife enjoy a brandy and a packet of crisps by the fire but last night when (as customary) he threw her the packet of crisps the lack of crisps seriously affected the aerodynaminicity of the packet resulting in the crisps falling short of the intended target, reaching for the crisps his wife dropped and smashed her brandy goblet, and so Mr Manager of Sainsbury’s you will now please provide me by way of compensation the money for six new cut crystal brandy goblets. He was told in no uncertain terms that we would not be indulging his fantasies. Verdict 3/10, too ambitious with demands.
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 14:14, 4 replies)

Brandy in fine crystal glasses with a packet of crisps?
I can just see him now complaining to the manager of McDonald's how there being pickle in his burger ruined his fine china...
(Mr_Lew, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 15:24, closed)

I'd put my pickle in his burger.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 16:41, closed)

Extra mayo, sir?

( eXOBeX, Sun 5 Sep 2010, 23:23, closed)

I bought caddyshack 1 and 2 from asda months ago for £4

Just the other day I bought it again (i have lots of dvds.....) for £3. Got it home, unwrapped and binned the plastic. Went over to place on shelf and saw it already there.....

I took the £4 sticker off, retrieved the £3 sticker from the bin and put it on the older dvd case (it was still wrapped). Took it back to asda with receipt for new dvd and got £3 back!

Take that capitalist pigs! :-D
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 15:15, closed)