Recorded request line japes
Years back our company had a dialup server with limited capcity, which was free to our customers who fitted a certain criteria. The only problem was that we had more customers than capacity, so it would've damaged our server if we let everyone connect up and browse at the same time.

So we had to come up with a solution. I know, we'll introduce a recorded message line where our customers could leave their details on a recording and when the server's contention was increased we would create an account for them and post out a Registration CD to sign up for us.

The only problem was that the server upgrade didn't take place for about 3 months after initially announcing this recording line, so loads of the CD requests were duplicate requests from the same customers wondering how fucking long it was going to take.

Among all the bitchy recordings and sniping comments one stood out; a beacon of ultimate loathing and almost b3tan type responses.

"Yeah....my name is *mutters name* and I live at *gives address*. I want one of those disks, which I've requested a few times from you."

A few seconds later, the line is still open and he continues.

"To be honest, I'm most probs never going to see one of these fucking CDs" he mutters quietly down the phone, "I've rung up 3 times and got fuck all already. Oh aye, I'm not allowed to swear down the phone aren't I? Fuck sorry. Oh, you've already got my address, lets see if you can get the Police there before my CD. We'll make it a race. To be honest though the chances of either reaching my house are next to fuck all. I really couldn't give a fuck.......I hope the monkeys eat your brains. Bye bye."

We sent him a CD instantly and kept the recording for about a month, playing it back to anyone who needed cheering up.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 18:58, Reply)