As you've already worked out, it's your 'mixed messages' that've caused the trouble here.
When you had her on a plate you wouldn't commit, and now she's with someone else you've decided she's the One.

Why would she risk being hurt by you again? She can't believe a word you say.

My advice would be to back off. At the moment she has little respect for you. The good news is that you may be able to regain her respect by behaving with dignity and a bit of good old Manning the Fuck Up.

It won't be easy, but you CAN treat her and *him* as friends like everyone else. Find another nice girl or two to take out. Work hard at your job. Learn new skills. Have some fun!

After you've treated her as nothing more than a friend for a while - a year, say, or six months if you're lucky - she will look at you with new respect. She should also be intrigued by your new air of self-possession. Women love that!

To sum up: back off, give it time, give her space. She'll come back to you when she's ready. When she is, snap her up and get a ring on her! Good luck.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 9:53, 1 reply)

Thank you
Again, thank you for replying and also for not beating around the bush. This is probably some of the best advice I've had. I think you're right - I doubt she feels she can trust me right now. As hard as it will be for me to stick to, I am going to try to treat both her, *and* her new guy, with as much respect and normality as possible.
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 17:15, closed)