A handy guide
Reading some of the later posts on here got me thinking about complaints I have had to deal with in various jobs. Since I'm bored, here's a compendium of recurring complaints from members of the Great British Public, and explanations of why they're wrong.

SUPERMARKETS

Most common:

- I can't believe you won't take my card - I assure you everything's fine (That may well be true but the little machine says no. And the machine is my master. Deal with it.)
- I can't believe you won't sell me booze. I'm 18 mate. It was my birthday last month (Well pardon me for not being able to correctly identify your age within a month's margin of error. Learn some manners and bring some ID, you spotty little oik)
- Bringing stuff in that you bought a week ago and is now past it's sell by/use by date (it wasn't when you bought it - you should have checked the date and used it)

Or more extreme:

- Digging a load of damaged products out of the bins at the back of the store, then bringing them in and trying to claim refunds (if you haven't got a receipt, you're unlikely to be believed. This is why everyone locks their bins up nowadays, anyway)

PUBS

- Complaining about your beer after you've drunk most of it (If you had only had an gulp or two, I'd believe you without question and happily change it for something else)
- Complaining that your drink wasn't made exactly how you wanted it, e.g. 'Can you change this - I wanted a G&T made with Bombay Sapphire, not Gordon's, and I wanted lemon and not lime, and I wanted it served in a pewter tankard' (then you should have said so, I'm not psychic)
- It's a bit smoky [nowadays redundant] (We do have a non-smoking area. You've chosen not to sit in it. I genuinely don't know what to suggest.)
- Complaining about being refused service/asked to leave (I can understand it at the time, as you were out of your skull and a bit fight-y, but the people who come back the next day/week and want an apology for being politely told to leave when they were being dickheads really do lack self-awareness)

And the one which really always puzzled me...

- Complaining that you're offended because you've been asked not to eat your own food in the pub (We are a business serving food - can you really not see the issue? Would you like to bring your own cans of lager in the future as well?)

NEWSPAPER AD SALES

- I didn't sell anything. I want my money back (Funny, I don't seem to remember giving you a guarantee in a moment of recklessness.)
- My ad was on a page with lots and lots of other ads (Yes. It's called Classified Advertising. That's what happens)
- I want to place an ad in today's paper - what do you mean I can't? (Whilst it is, indeed, an EVENING newspaper, you may have observed that it has to be PRINTED onto reams of paper, and then DISTRIBUTED to newsagents, so unfortunately I can't place an ad in the edition which goes on sale in he next 45 minutes)
- [Surprisingly common one] Have you got any adverts for jobs in such-and-such? What do you mean I've got to buy the paper? (we're not a charity - we make money from people buying the paper. Plus, I'm not sitting here perusing job ads for the county's unemployed because you can't be arsed to get down the newsagent and spare 35p for the trouble of finding employment)

Complaining is great. It's necessary and often productive, plus it gets stuff of your chest. But doing all three of those jobs, there was about 1% of the complaints that genuinely had any sense to them. (Except in the pub - the food really was terrible).
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:27, Reply)