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This is a question Complaining

I like writing letters of complaint to companies containing the words "premier league muppetry", if only to give the poor office workers a good laugh on an otherwise dull day. Have you ever complained? Did it work?

(, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:16)
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Now I'm pissed off...
So I wrote this post: b3ta.com/questions/complaintsdesk/post851020 about me being so proud I bought a KitKat Chunky which was all chocolate for about 35p and got a cheque back for 2 quid. Three times!

Then, I see this post: b3ta.com/questions/complaintsdesk/post854467 where the poster's missus got 35 quid!

I have decided to write this letter to Nestle - click 'I like this' if you think I should post it...



Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to take this opportunity to complain to you about your customer service procedures. Three times during my life I have had to complain to your company for what is, essentially, sub-standard confectionery, namely a kit kat chunky that lacked the biscuit - or 'wafer' - element. I did so in a very polite manner which was more of a 'quiet word' and not so much of a complaint. For my efforts I was rewarded with a cheque to the value of 2 pounds sterling. Each of the three times this happened I was rewarded with 2 pounds for which I was very grateful.

I would like to add that one of the cheques was never even cashed, as I'll admit this was before I had a bank account and by the time I opened one the 6 month's guarantee of the cheque had expired. I didn't even contact you to reclaim my funds, I just let it slide.

Imagine my horror when I hear a tale of another of your customers who complained about having a solid regular kit kat and wrote a letter, complete with artistic rendition of a sad pony, who received a cheque for 35 pounds!

I would like to know whether it was my politeness that was my folly, or the lack of illustration. Or whether you favour consumers of regular kit kats over the chunky preferrer? Whatever the answer may be, I find this highly unacceptable and I therefore request you forward me the funds I demand you owe. I have checked the inflation rate for the period of 2001 - 2010 (as this is when my unfortunate incident occurred), and realise you are indebted to me in the amount of
3148.17 GBP. I have achieved this figure using the following equation:

35 x (the amount you gave to the 'pony artist')
3 (the amount of times I complained, as mentioned above)
----
105 -
4 (the 4 pounds deducted being those already deposited)
---
101 x
31.17 (the current inflation rate between June 1999 (I remember it was June because it was sunny when I was eating it) and August 2010. Inflation rate calculated at inflationdata.com/Inflation/Inflation_Calculators/Inflation_Rate_Calculator.asp )
----
3148.17

Since I moved to the USA in 2006, I would like you to convert this figure into US Dollars, as per the exchange rate of my migration (mainly because the pound was a little bit higher then).

Thus;
3148.17 x
1.8239805984 (the exchange rate as of June 27th, 2006 - I remember this because it was my brother's birthday the day we left)
------------
5742.20 USD.


I ask that you please forward the amount to me within a respectable 30 days, and all matters will be concluded. If you should turn over this page you will see a hand drawn picture of a VERY sad pony, should this actually be the deciding factor in obtaining refunds of which I am unaware. I don't want to take that chance.

I look forward to receiving your check ('check' spelled in the US way due to my current location) from either Nestle UK or US, it makes no difference to me.


Yours Faithfully,


Mr Lew.



Do you think it will work??
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:14, 9 replies)
DO IT!!!!!

(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:16, closed)
Do it do it do it!
Then post the results on here. Actually, gaz me if/when you do cos I'll probably miss it under the pile of lies and kittens that constitutes B3ta.
DO IT!
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:35, closed)
Might want to recheck your sums,
but do it.
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:38, closed)
unlucky!
I've already sent it with my name attached.

Muhuhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 1:58, closed)
It's a good idea
but your sums are all to pot. The inflation rate is not 31.17x, but 31.17%, so your £101 would translate to £132.48, which is $241.64 using your exchange rate.
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 8:18, closed)
you always get in there ahead of me with the maths and the science
you bastard
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:32, closed)
!
I am keen to see the picture of the sad pony.
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:43, closed)
I think you've made a mistake.
You don't live in the US. Based on your inflation calcs. it's clear you live in Zimbabwe.
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:01, closed)
bad numbers
Also you've made the mistake of calculating the inflated rate in the UK to 2010 then using the US exchange rate of 2006.
Surely for accuracy you should use the UK inflation to 2006, THEN convert to US dollars at the 2006 rate and THEN add US rate of inflation from 2006 to present, as if you'd received the money then and taken it with you. Although given the state of the US economy maybe not such a good idea.
(, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:37, closed)

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