Grandads
I honestly believe my granddad is the original inspiration for Ronnie Barker's Arkwright character in "Open All Hours".

He, at various times, owned a series of shops in the local high street: butcher, hardware, groceries and a couple of pubs. And he knew all the tricks to spinning money out of everyone who came by.

These included intentionally making spelling or grammar errors on the signs outside the shops - so when some helpful soul came in to correct him, he could sell them something.

Back in 'the old days' when goods like milk and butter came in bulk and the customer bought as much of it as they wanted, it would me my grandmother [and later my mum]'s job to churn a pint of water into the butter and two pints into the milk to make it go further. Fruit and veg were washed every day - as the water made them weigh heavier. In the pub, the ketchup was diluted with vinegar, and the scraps were fed to the dogs - saved on dog food.

He'd also go to any lengths to secure a sale. Once, in the hardware shop, a customer came in looking to buy a china dinner service. She found none that she particularly liked onthe shelves, but admired the tea cup my granddad was drinking out of. "I'll just go check in the back, see if we've got a set left" he told her, quickly disappearing into the flat above the shop, where he got a box and some newspaper and neatly wrapped up all of my grandmother's wedding china to sell downstairs.

My favourite one, though, was just a few months ago, when we went to a car boot to get rid of some junk. there's my lovely old granddad, jolly twinkle in his eye, sweet-talking the little old ladies, completely radiating honesty and calling out "Books! Books only 20p! or four for a pound! That's right, buy four for just a pound!"

The amount of people who fell for it was astounding.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 15:18, Reply)