When I was about 14
I was heading up to Edinburgh from London for an orchestra recital (yes I know) and for various reasons ended up travelling on my own. This was probably the first time I'd done this over that sort of distance. While waiting for the train at Kings Cross I was accosted by the standard homeless alcoholic mumbling crazy I usually find asleep on my doorstep these days. However, seeing as I originally hail from the leafy part of Kent, having this shambling freak totter towards me was mildly terrifying to say the least.

He did the usual ask for, "Can I ave a quid mate so I ken get inna hostel' while I looked wildly round for help, but sadly to no avail.

Trembling, I got my wallet out and disaster! I only had a tenner, which was supposed to last me til I met up with the others in Haggisland. Knowing I was on the verge of being brutally stabbed and probably raped I chucked it in the bloke's general direction.

He took it with a look of confusion on his face, paused, and then said "Nah mate, thass too much", and tried to give it back. I was slightly dumfounded by this, and in my state of panic and shock tried to insist he keep it.

There then followed a bizarre sequence of us each trying to force the other to take the cash. In the end he pocketed it reluctantly but insisted on giving me the grubbiest roll up I have ever laid eyes on.

So there you have the story of how I paid £10 for my first ciggy which i subsequently smoked in the train toilet somewhere around Newark.
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 17:34, 1 reply)

Hahaha what a wonderful story
Tramps are very scary.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 18:51, closed)