ConnedswiftyisNOTevil writes, "I have recently become obsessed with the BBC Three show 'The Real Hustle' - personally, I think of it as a 'How To' show for aspiring con artists."
Have you carried out a successful con? Perhaps you hustled a few quid off a stranger, or defrauded a multi-national company. Or have you been taken for the wide-eyed, naive rube that you are?
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chthonic, Thu 18 Oct 2007, 13:02)
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I am so fucking guillibleyou have to understand all my family have um, quirks. I'm loud, one of my brothers is a Cliffie*, another one does a very credible Charles Manson imitation, and so on. My brother in the Army, Greg, doesn't suffer fools gladly and would cut assholes off with "I know you're lying" even when he was 14 or 15 years old.
The day Saddam Hussein was captured, my brother Sam called up all excited and said, "Oh my god, Tam, did you hear? I think Greg captured Saddam!"
"What? How do you know?"
"It was Greg's unit that was looking for him, the 597th, and they said on TV that it was the MPs that found the spider hole."
A chill went down my back. I holler at the kids, "Uncle Greg caught Saddam!" Everybody runs in and jumps on the bed (it's early in the morning) yelling and asking questions, my husband wants to know just what the hell is going on, who did what with Saddam Who, etc.
I finally shush everyone and ask Sam what else he knows.
"Well, I heard on TV that when the MPs found him, he tried to pretend he was just some old man they didn't know, and the Staff Sgt MP said, and get this-'I KNOW YOU'RE LYING'"
I scream at the top of my lungs, "Greg caught Saddam! Greg caught Saddam!" The kids start yelling and dancing around, I'm crying, even my husband's saying, "Damn, I can't believe it." I breathlessly tell Sam I have to hang up and tell everyone in the neighborhood that MY very own brother captured Saddam Hussein, the Evil Dictator, blah, blah, blah when Sam shouts through my babbling, "Tam, Tam , TAM! Shut up. Calm down. I'm pulling your leg."
I could have fucking killed him. I was so excited and he just ruined it. So now the whole family** will throw in "and I captured Saddam, too" just to yank my chain, the fuckers.
Although Greg did get a huge kick out of it when he heard. He actually called me all the way from Iraq to "set me straight". Dicktard.
*Do you have those in Britain? Somebody who always is spouting off authoritatively about subjects he doesn't know shit about? Named after Cliff Clavin on the TV show Cheers.
**even my mother
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 6:02, 3 replies)
"Do you have those in Britain?"Yes, this place is full of them, me included.
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Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 12:52,
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"another one does a very credible Charles Manson imitation"What, he beats parties of Hollywood actors to death savagely in an orgiastic blood ritual? Nice work if you can get it.
Or do you mean he writes jaunty pop songs?
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 13:05, closed)
I meanhe acts really crazy and wild eyed, saying scary threatening things 'til even his brothers and sisters stop laughing and start fidgeting, saying "ok, quit it. Quit it, I mean it. You can stop it now, Bren. Dammit, Bren, you're creeping me out. Fuck off, Bren! Shut up for the love of God! Aaaaaaah" and run away holding their ears, shuddering.
He can really be creepy as hell.
there's a pop songster Charles Manson? Ewww
(, Fri 19 Oct 2007, 18:08, closed)
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