Just a little prick....
Francine was a bitch. She was a real, stone cold, harsh harridan of a woman. She treated everyone she knew, especially those she (thought she) loved as tho they were a piece of dogshit she'd inadvertently stepped in and needed to scrape off her shoe.
Her glass wasn't half empty - it was the dregs of last nights beer with a cigarette butt someone had stubbed out in it.

There was some conjecture amongst Francine's family and acquaintances as to why she was the way she was. The consensus was that Francine was the wrong gender. And this frustrated her which in turn made her fairly difficult to live with.
She was a large woman who dressed in work shirts, shorts or pants and work boots. Even formally.
Altho she didn't call herself a lesbian she only had sex with women. Apparently she hated having her breasts or genitals touched, preferring instead to strap on a dildo and fuck her (infrequent) partners with it till she collapsed on top of them.
She even often introduced herself as "Frank".

One day about 5 years ago Francine won the lottery. It wasn't hundreds of millions of dollars but it was a modest amount, large enough for her to pay off her mortgage, have a nice holiday and realise her dream.
To finally become a man.
She had a number of surgical procedures including a double mastectomy, hysterectomy and went thru numerous hormonal treatments including taking lots of testosterone.
As you can imagine there is a lot of paperwork involved in changing from a woman to a man - for the doctors, the counsellors and the person undergoing the procedure. As the rules and legislation have changed over time there have been many additions to the paperwork involved. Including addendums placed within folders of existing documents.
Francine had to read & fill all of them out fairly carefully and contentiously. For the most part she didn't skip a word but sometimes it was just all too much. Particularly when she was tired and just wanted to go bowling, fishing or just have a beer with the blokes from work.

Finally the day came - when she would have the surgery that would turn her vagina inside out and the surgeons would place a small bladder connected to a pump inside the skin, move her clitoris to where the "head" of her new penis would be and set her up to be a man.
Her final instructions to the surgeons before going under were - "I want to be big. Give me a large cock so I can fuck those bitches good and hard."
After a week they took his dressings off and he got to see their handiwork.

Frank was looking down at a shrivelled 2" dick. "What. The. Fuck!" he shouted in his newly found low brogue. The nurses pointed out that once he "pumped it up" with an attachable lead and handpump it would nearly double in size.
"Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with a 4" cock?" Frank bawled.
"It's all there in the paperwork." said the matron in charge. "In the 'Vaginal to Penile Conversion Procedure; Addendum II'. You may know it by it's colloquial name."
"Where?" demanded Frank, "Show me."
Frank's large folder of paperwork was found and delivered to the nurses station. The matron brought it to him.
"Here you are." she said. "As I told you you might know the document by it's slang name..."

And there it was in black and white, in front of Frank -
'Cunt Reversal, "B" Leaf' - Actual Results May Vary.

EDIT: Before anyone asks, yes I was listening to the "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" soundtrack when I wrote this.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 5:47, 4 replies)

I hate you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 7:22, closed)

So does
janet and Rory.

Apparently. At least you don't want me to die.
Do you?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 7:38, closed)

Bollocks
carefully and contentiously conscientiously.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 8:48, closed)

Gah!
Ferking speel chack!
EDIT: Not anymore! About the bollocks I mean.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:42, closed)