So - back to my public school days:
My mother taught at the school (it's how I got in - I'm a Prod, and it was a Catlick school, and she bust balls).

My mother and I had an agreement that she would have absolutely nothing to do with me other than teaching, and certainly any trouble I got in to was strictly my own affair.

She was my mum, though, and at the beginning of Michaelmas was happy to come 'round and collect me and my luggage for the term - my suitcase, books etc.

A week later, and I was sitting at lunch with the boys, and the New Kid was with us. He was a long, lanky, very ginger lad, and he'd found a couple of mates and was starting to feel comfortable and confident.

As we ate, he started a conversation: "Hey I'll tell you what, lads - Mrs Kirkwood, eh? She came into science today with a serious left-nipple erection, if you know what I mean!"

The table went quiet, and there were glances at me to check my reaction. I had an intrigued expression.

"Seriously, though - Mrs Kirkwood's alright, but she's pretty hard work - she's given us shit-loads to do and she won't let us off on any deadlines ... and I don't know why everyone goes on about her being fit I reckon she's well rough ... "

Gradually, he started to garner the silence of the table.

"What?" he asked, "What?"

"That's my mum." I said.

"Fuck off, you little prick - why is this guy being a prick?" he asked.

Slowly the table nodded their agreement with me, "Yes she is" said a couple of lads, backing me up.

...

It was just at that moment that my mum happened to come over to ask me whether or not I'd unpacked and whether she could take my suitcase home.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 May 2011, 10:54, 4 replies)

Similar happened to my cousin.
Dishevelled man down our tiny main street, where my cousin's friends were yelling out to him, "bush pig, bush pig". She answered back that it was her father, friends giggling asking her to prove it, so she walked straight up to him and said "G'day dad", whereupon he says "hello daughter". Friends mumbly shambled off.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 13 May 2011, 11:28, closed)

You believe in a god?
I hope this doesn't mar my enjoyment of your future answers.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Fri 13 May 2011, 12:14, closed)

Where do I say I believe in a god?
Why would it affect your enjoyment of my future answers?

I'm rissing here a bit, I'm afraid.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:08, closed)

"I'm a Prod, and it was a Catlick school"
Protestants are a type of religious. And it would affect my enjoyment as I'm the type of filthy atheist that really hates religion.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Mon 16 May 2011, 21:21, closed)