Teachers
Back in the days of my sixth-form history class we had a supply teacher for half of our final A-level year. (The original one resigned after an incident involving a year 10's mobile being thrown out of the 4th floor classroom window.)

He was a Brummie, Mr Whyte, and in hindsight he was probably younger than I am now (mid-20s, cheeky buggers). Nice bloke and, being in Kent, his accent was the source of much amusement. He also hadn't quite got the hang of the teacher-student relationship yet - not in that way! Stuff along the lines of not turning up one morning after going out on the piss with the head rugby coach the night before (and telling us all while reeking of booze that afternoon), and buying us beer on the train coming back from a field trip etc.

One moment still sticks in my memory to this day. We were sat in class when out of nowhere he started laughing to himself.

"Sir, sir! What's so funny?"

"Doesn't matter. Get on with your work"

A couple of minutes go by and he starts laughing to himself again.

"Come on sir, what's so funny?"

Realising that we weren't going to get anything else done otherwise he sighed and explained.

"Right, last night I was in the pub with some of the other teachers and out of absolutely nowhere Mr F (rugger buggeresque Physics teacher) asked Miss K (fit for a boys school, probably not that striking in other surroundings, English teacher) 'So K, what's the biggest cock you've ever had?'. She looked thoughtful for a bit and then said 'Length or girth?'"

By this point he was in convulsions of mirth, tears were streaming down his face and he could barely get the words out. Gradually he realised that there was now deathly silence in the room as fifteen 17/18 year olds were all looking at him (some admittedly cross-legged) with various expressions of awkwardness on their faces.

He regained his composure and the lesson was concluded in a most unnatural stillness. The incident was never referred to again. I never did find out what the size of the biggest cock Miss K had ever had was. Length or girth.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 13 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)