Zuggox
The most corrupt officials I have ever encountered in all my travels through Time and Space are the Qoskelry of the planet Zuggox.

Zuggox is, or rather was (or rather will be) an ancient, stormy planet at the very edge of the galaxy, distant from the spaceways and mostly ignored by offworlders. Over the aeons, it developed unmolested through various civilizational phases from barbarism through feudalism and had stalled at a sort of mediaeval bureaucracy. The planet consisted of one very large ocean teeming with the kind of sea life that would consider a Kraken a light snack, which encircled its single continent, Fum. Fum was all mountains and jungles, and most of the roughly humanoid population lived either in fortresses built into the mountains, vast networks of treehouses woven into the canopy of the jungle, or ramshackle coastal fishing communities.

The economy of Fum revolved around trade between these three sectors of Zuggoxian society. The mountain dwellers provided raw materials, stone and metal, the shore people provided fresh fish (often risking life and limb in the dangerous oceans of Zuggox), and the foresters provided timber, meat, fabrics and the like. It was a thriving, busy place and the seafood was fantastic.

Zuggox was under the absolute rule of a monarch, appointed every fifty years by the Ceremony of the Borrowed Binders of Ataratarat. I was there under the rule of King Todborong, a fat, indolent, ignorant and rather cruel oaf; that was the problem with monarchy appointed by ancient ceremony, you didn’t have much choice over who wore the crown, and had to accept the judgment of the Borrowed Binders.

Fum was split into three hundred Cantons, each one under the auspices of local Qosks, appointed according to a series of arcane rituals and procedures known as Qoskage. Each canton had its own Qoskelry comprising a Prime Qosk, who was in charge of the Canton, a dozen or so Underqosks acting as administrators, and around a hundred Qoskeens who enforced the law as laid down by the Prime Qosk. Tax evasion, smuggling, prostitution, slavery, gambling and more were all rife throughout the three hundred Cantons of Fum, and all illegal, so the local Qoskelry was kept very busy. The demands on the Qoskelry varied from Canton to Canton, but, broadly, the Mountain Cantons (Utats) had terrible problems with slavery (especially the mines), prostitution and other ‘people crimes’, the Forest Cantons (Reheens) were hotbeds of gambling and drug manufacture and the Coastal Cantons (Graints) were obviously perfect for people trafficking and smuggling.

I was on Zuggox mainly for a holiday, after just having barely escaped from a particularly nasty skirmish in that eternal, annoying war between the Sontarans and the Rutans. I’d been forced to eat Sontaran flesh for several months, and it had given me cancer, which I’d used some of my regenerative powers to cure, and I was weak and needed to recuperate. Somewhere simple and out of the way like Zuggox was perfect, so I settled down in Reheen Shiii Canton where I lived in a lovely little treehouse overlooking the Southern Sea, carving figurines for the Zuggoxian children. Once I was feeling stronger, for a change of scene I moved into the mountains and took up a post as Underqosk in Utat Wohaelminig Canton. and that is where I encountered Qharmly d’Oisps.

He was a strange little man, in appearance nothing to shout about, just a grey rather confused looking chap with white hair. He wore the traditional garb of the Prime Qosk – purple pantaloons, a long black jacket embroidered in gold, an insanely frilly shirt and a quite incredible hat that looked like a cross between a tricorn and a tea cosy. He was my boss for the time I lived in Utat Wohaelminig.

Within a few hours of taking up my post as Underqosk I discovered that corruption was rife in the Qoskelry. It varied from Canton to Canton, but all of them were on the make in some way or another, and it was worse in the Utats, as they saw themselves as above the law by dint of their elevated, montane position. Utat Wohaelminig was rotten to the core and Qharmly d’Oisps was in on every racket going. (It was even rumoured that d’Oisps had fixed Qoskage in his favour.) Protection, extortion, drugs, prostitution – you name it, the Qoskelry had it sewn up. They made the Krays and the Corleones look like rank amateurs. At first I was against this – if you’ve seen the movie Serpico, well, that was how it was for me. I even looked a lot like Al Pacino in that incarnation. Unlike Frank Serpico, however, I rolled over and joined in with the other members of the Qoskelry, as I didn’t (and don’t) particularly care about ‘morals’ and it seemed stupid to resist when there was so much money to be had, and so many young Zuggoxian beauties to fuck.

In the end I had to leave Zuggox because they found out what I did to Qharmly d’Oisps, but that’s another story.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 20:16, 9 replies)

I did not read it but as ever I just know it is the best answer this week. Well done.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 20:51, closed)

Thanks sweetie
You total stalker!

XXXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 20:52, closed)

You really should check behind your curtains more often.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 8:33, closed)

I challenge you
to copy and paste the same paragraph 20 times for next week's answer and see if anyone actually notices
(Guy Debord cette mauvaise réputation..., Tue 8 Jul 2014, 22:19, closed)

Oooh so that was you!
I remember hearing about it through the sporklines.

Still, did you manage to overcome your difficulties and have fun, though?
( arrangedletters, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 22:34, closed)

Sporklines?
You're making it up. Sweetie.
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 23:24, closed)

Ahhh I see...
... so it's your brain that's corrupted?

Behold how I state that that 'I see' yet end the sentence with a question mark! Hooo haaa! They call me The Confusorr!

(And yes, I'm know I'm not one to talk about brain corruption but self awareness makes it 33.72% more excusable).
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:44, closed)

quenrenn
sherennenn?

XXX
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:42, closed)

A thousand times
Yes.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 14:10, closed)