19 na, na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na, 19
I’ve mentioned in the past that my marriage has come to an end, and I now find myself at the dawn of a new life.

At the moment, I’m completely skint, living in a small bedsit that I’m renting, whilst also paying towards the mortgage on the house I lived in with my (soon to be) ex wife.

This leaves very little money to socialise, in fact, even if I don’t eat, drink or put petrol in my car, I’ve spent my entire salary on direct debits before I start.

This has meant I’ve needed to make some changes as in a small bedsit (no room for a sofa, its get home from work, sit on bed, cook dinner on a 2 ring-hob, eat it – sitting on the bed – watch telly – sitting on the bed, make a phone call – sitting on the bed….. (I’m sure you get the idea) its very easy to go out of your mind with boredom.

Now, bless my friends, they’ve all been fantastic these last few months, inviting me over for Christmas, cooking me dinner and even taking me to the pub for evenings and paying for me to get drunk (and I love them all so much for that).

But I knew that this wasn’t going to help me in the mid-term, and so I took a job in a pub. I’ve got no experience of working in pubs – but a lot of experience drinking in them.

Anyway, I’d been working there for 2 or 3 days and was starting to get the hang of it (I was employed on a ‘have a couple of shifts and we’ll see if it works out’ approach), certainly, I was pouring pints with aplomb and getting the drinks order right, first time, every time. I am actually a good barman, having banter with the customers and making new patrons feel at home and giving them some welcoming small talk

It’s this that has led to a dalliance I would normally have refused as the lady in question is younger than me, by some margin. I am, for the record in my mid/late 30’s, the lady who made me the object of her desire was, I later found out, 19.

19

19 and gorgeous, funny, witting confident and above everything else, showing little ‘ole me some attention. I never get attention when I go out, largely down to the fact that on the rare occasion I do go out, it’s with friends and I don’t want to ignore them over trying to get my end-away.

The attention I received was ‘flirting of the highest order’ (well, it was to me anyway), she came to the pub on her own (a rare trait and one that should be encouraged in my book. She sat at the bar and she drank either JD and ginger ale or gin and tonic. Every 2 or 3 drinks, she’d say ‘get yourself one’ and I’d always reply with ‘I’m not suppose to drink when I’m working, I’ll have it later on if that’s ok?’

We get more confident with each other and I start to flirt back

She says, ‘I’m not buying you anymore drinks, I never see you drink anything’ (and the reality is, I was taking the cash as a tip – having rung a half-pint of fosters in the till, I need the money).

I reply with, ‘I finish at 11, why don’t we go somewhere else and I’ll buy you a drink?’ – a really bold move on my part as I’ve got about fifteen quid to last me until ‘forever’

Which is completely out of character for me, I can’t speak to women usually.

She agrees.

We go out, we have a couple of drinks and then we get to the end of the night.

We kiss, it lasts for ages, I can taste the JD on her lips and the smell of Marly lights on her breath. I don’t know why, but that combination really works for me.

Anyway she says ‘Can I come back to yours?’ – Now, I was more than a little reluctant to allow that, seeing as I’m living in squalor at present and whilst I can’t see anything coming from this brief interlude with the beautiful 19 year-old, I don’t want to miss out on breaking my ‘very-much-single-duck’ - and lets be honest, she’s absolutely lovely .

Then I remember, my ex-wife is away and will be for the next few days (she’d asked me to look after the dog, but I am not able to have animals in the bedsit). So, using the key I still have for my old house (I insisted on keeping a key whilst I am paying towards the mortgage), I decided in my infinite wisdom to go there for the night.

Since moving out of the house, things have changed there. I (wrongly) assumed that when I moved out, the house would have stayed the same, bar the things I took. What I didn’t bank on, was the new ‘squeeze’ on my soon-to-be-ex-wife being in the house, looking after MY dog and watching MY telly whilst sitting in MY chair.

We exchanged ‘frosty’ welcomes and I say, ‘I’m staying the night’ to which he replies ‘fair enough, it’s your gaff – what room are you using?’

So there we have it, I had a one-night-stand in the house I use to share with my wife, in the bed I used during the happier times with my soon-to-be-ex-wife, whilst my wife’s ‘lover’ sat down stairs so as not to disturb me (which I thought was jolly decent of him). The sex was amazing, the sheets were a state (and I wasn’t going to wash ‘em) and I’d had a all-to-brief fling with a lady much younger than me.

My soon-to-be-ex-wife’s reaction when she found out?

SHE HIT THE ROOF WITH ME, WITH HER NEW BLOKE, WITH THE DOG, WITH EVERYONE. At one point, she was going to call the police and have me arrested for ‘breaking and entering’ (She was advised not to do that be everyone, seeing as I own half the house, pay had the mortgage and all that malarkey.

Sadly, the complications of the location and the situation means my beautiful 19 year old has decided (quite rightly I fear), that I’ve got too much baggage and we aren’t able to see each other anymore.

I hope she’s telling the truth and it’s not because I misheard her when we were having sex and I thought she said, ‘cum on my face’ whereas she was actually saying ‘ its-not-a-race’ or that I’m rubbish between the sheets and the very thought of being intimate with me again makes her want to vomit.

Apologies for the lack of humour and the length, I’m not a very funny individual.

Mullered, skint, single and rubbish.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:17, 8 replies)

I liked this story
Interesting and well told! It must have been extremely awkward though with your ex.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:28, closed)

It would be awkward
If I didn't hate the bitch.

Thing is, I honestly don't know if my addled brain thought, 'go to the house to piss off my ex! What a brilliant idea' or if my brain was working on the basis that 'If you go back to that shitty bedsit, you'll be wanking yourself off by midnight... alone, and, as we've already discussed body, that bed you'll be wanking in is your sofa, guest accommodation, the place your mum sits when she pops round and everything else in life'

My brain is quite complicated at times, especially when its talking directly to me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:35, closed)

Well, I found it funny
and so typically male that your ex's lover susses the situation, and lets you get on with it without making a fuss. Can't see that happening if the genders were reversed in this story.
And at least it's put nice images in the "W" drive for when you're in the bedsit.

Hope you get the finances sorted out soon.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:34, closed)

^^Hahah!
The 'W' drive!

Excellent!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:37, closed)

Took me a while
I'm thinking 'Why would I posta copy of this message on the W:\ in work? It's full of financial reports and the disaster recovery procedure!'

I understand now.

I am slow.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 17:40, closed)

W:\


*steals*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 18:24, closed)

I'm sure like many other expressions such as "touching cloth"
that I picked it up from this very site.

I'm just restraining myself so I never use the phrase "cunted in the fuck" in real life.
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 19:04, closed)

good story
nicely written, done deal. A 19yo hotty, go on son!!
Really hope the finances sort themselves soon as mate,
best wishes and good luck!
(orangejuicejohns, Sun 7 Dec 2008, 16:20, closed)