"Moose!"
My old mate Baz had a bit of a problem with quality control. While I was picky about the young ladies (and rarely got a date as a result), Baz was only interested in dipping his wick, and would shag a barbershop floor given half the chance.

So, it was hardly a suprise that he turned up at a party with an older woman on his arm. Older? He was 19. She was 48, which - coincidentally - was also her bust size.

"Good grief, Baz," I remonstrated, cornering him in the kitchen later that evening, "Where did you get her?"

"Grab-a-granny night", he replied, with the telling rejoinder: "Gives me something to practice on."

And practice on her he did, for they became the annoying-couple-at-the-party-having-sex-in-the-bedroom-on-top-of-the-pile-of-coats-while-you're-not-getting-any.

It was a couple of years before I ran into Baz again, this time at a wild student party in which ale and vomit flowed freely.

"Hey Baz!" I slurred, "Wha'happened to that fat old moose you were boffin' a couple o' years ago?"

"We're married."

"....!"

As far as I know, they still are. Bless.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 10 Dec 2008, 12:50, 1 reply)

This story
should have gone in the Cringe question as well.

Ouch.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 10 Dec 2008, 15:56, closed)