I was 16...
Due to some unfortunateness, I'd ended up living in a flat above a customer workshop.

I was 16, earning £150 a week and paying £70 a week for an all in 1 bed flat 20 seconds from work and 5 minutes from town, and this was when you didn't need ID.

I didn't know it at the time, but life was very very good.

So, NYE 2000. We're at my uncles house having a family do, there's this fabulously cute, svelt young lady I've got my eye on. 17 years old, older chick, if I pull I'm a legend forever!

As it transpires she has an eye on my cousin and slinks off into their bedroom for some new year fun, I sit on the stairs and suddenly feel this legs part and straddle me from behind and a pair of hands start to softly caress my shoulders. Hoping it's not my sister or worse, I turn around and am presented with none other than the mother of previously mentioned girl.

Ladies and gentlemen, 30 years my senior. An age gap of no less than thirty years.

She spends the rest of the evening drunkenly touching me up and flirting with me in front of my mother and family, no less than one year older than said mother.

Come one am, we stumble back to my flat and she teaches me many valuable lessons as we greet the new year in.

The next day, I get a phone call from my mother explaining how the entire family is ashamed of me and how she's let her and myself down.

Shortly after, I got a phone call from my uncle laughing and telling me how much of a legend I was :D.

Good times.
(Twin Pack Even less funny than Michael McIntyre, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 2:05, 2 replies)

ew.
62?
( Zuowan, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 2:59, closed)

Thank you sir!
Edited for 30 years my senior.

She was 46.

Still ew.
(Twin Pack Even less funny than Michael McIntyre, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 4:02, closed)