ok so ill take the plunge
As you all seem to be bearing your sordid moments. Here is my shameful and never before told age gap story.

rewind to , ooh, 1997? Age 17.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little shamen is shipped off to live with his dad who is working out in Russia. But not anywhere classy like Moscow (which in 1997 was still pretty dire), no I'm shipped off to ex communist central asia. A country which borders where Borat hails from, where cigs cost about 5 pence a pack and where the president was known for boiling the odd person now and then. How quaint.

I soon found out that compared to the locals, we were fucking loaded. Score. You can imagine the Russian girlies in the local dive nightclubs were just screaming for an exit visa and saw me as the ticket. Much fun was had while it lasted. But I digress, thats not the meat of this story.

About a year and a half into this, we realised after a few small fires that the wiring in our house was shot. Not trusting the local "its OK, just put wire in socket, he works" school of electrical engineering, dads company shipped out two sparkies from, of all places, Birmingham. So, with having some english company out there with us, me, dad and the two sparkies did what us brits do best abroad. Get pissed up, get lary and shag the locals.

One night we were in the club, dad was so trashed he had to go home, with our driver propping him up on the way to the car. The sparkies and I decided to keep on trucking. Closing time was 5 am, you see. After copious amount of the local vodka, which is more akin to perfume if you ask me, things start getting cloudy. I remember the sparkies brought over three "women" whom though my vodak tainted goggles were still dogs, but still within the do-ability scale. At this point alarm bells should have been ringing. To even detect a hint of old dog after that much voddy is asking for trouble.

There was more drinking, dancing, this much I remember. then there is a bit missing. Next thing I recall, im back at the sparkies guest house, in the spare room alone with one of the .. ahem.. ladies. Much noshing on the big chap occurred, then the beast with two backs emerged. I recall not being able to get anywhere near coming unless I closed my eyes.. WHERE THE FUCK are my alarm bells at this point? On fucking holiday in the bahamas the bastards.

When I pulled out to spray the man batter everywhere, the protestations from her were loud and many so it was clear that cum inside was quite OK. Again, where the FUCK are my alarm bells - im fucking a dubious old girl on the other side of the world in some poor ass country, with no rubber on my cock. And she wants me, the (compared to the locals) rich young foreign guy to shoot inside her.

So I did what any responsible, horny teenager would; pumped her full of it and promptly fell asleep.

Fast forward to next day. Its light, and all I see is colours and all I feel is pain. Oh hold on, eyes closed. Best open them.

OH FUCKING HELL. close eyes close eyes close eyes. gouge eyes out gouge eyes out. Memories come flooding back. open eyes again. Realise I have just shagged someone who is easily old enough to be my grandmother. gotta be 60's at least. The wizend old face staring back at me cracks a smile to reveal, in true central asian style, a grill full of gold and frankly some of last weeks dinner.

I bolted to the bathroom, bleached every inch of my body and would not emerge until she was gone. I scrubbed my poor self RED raw. As the community was so tight knit out there, EVERYONE knew what I had done. All the people at the factory, the town, the nightclubs. No cute local girlies would come near me again, even to get the chance to get that nice exit visa.

So there, thats my story of my age gap fuck. I guess I was out there on the frontier for the good of humanity that night. Thankfully the doctors have reassured me every year since, I dont have cock rot or any other such transmitted bug, which is a miracle considering the local population. Never saw or heard from her again. I suppose the good thing was the chances of pregnancy were about 0% as she likely did the menopause last century.

What the doctors cant do for me though, is get rid of the memory which will haunt me to my grave.

Those brum sparkies set me up, the cunts.
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 7:29, 6 replies)

This
gets click
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 7:48, closed)

thankya
kindly sir. It took a lot to blurt that one out.
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 7:55, closed)

MEN!!!
Without your complete lack of self-control, these boards would be a much quieter place.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 8:39, closed)

Wimmin!!!
Without your lovely lady lumps, we'd probably all just kill each other instead :)
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:14, closed)

*clicks*
wonderfully well written!
(ice9, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:51, closed)

That raised a dry smile
which is remarkably like you, except you raised a dry box!

Yuk Clicky and more Yuk!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:15, closed)