You know that house of yours...?
The one you're going to spend at least twenty years of your life, and a large chunk of your earnings paying for? If you ever want to increase it in size, because you need extra room, your family has expanded and you can't afford a bigger house or don't want the inconvenience of having to move, here's what you have to do...

Fill out four copies of the Planning Application form.

Sign and date certificate A.

Sign and date Certificate B.

Sign and date the Notice Under Article 6.

Submit four copies of an Ordnance Survey site plan (£28).

Submit four copies of a Design Statement, explaining to me why YOU need an extension and why I should let you.

Submit four copies of plans showing the existing and proposed layout and elevations, preferably drawn by an Architect who will charge you several hundred pounds for the privilege.

Now you have to wait 8 weeks, while some admin. jobsworth tells all your neighbours what you're up to, so that they can gripe and moan about all the silly little things like how much noise the builders will make while they're at work and how your proposal will block the light to the patch of their garden that they've never used before but they were going to plant some begonias there.

Meanwhile, the oficer dealing with your application is sitting on their hands, surfing the net at your expense, booking their latest weekend in Belgium, at your expense, and their future trip to La Paz, at your expense, emailing all of their friends at your expense. At some point they'll hop into the little VW Golf that you're paying for, to pop to your house for five minutes and maybe take the odd photo. Before they drive back, stopping off to pick up a sausage and egg McMuffin as they do so, at your expense.
Eventually, at some point close to the absolute final deadline, they'll type up a report recommending your application for approval or refusal.
...and you've actually paid them for the joy of letting them decide whether you have the right to extend your already expensive home, sure there are policies they have to adhere to, but alot of the time it's at the officer's discretion and yes, if you're lucky you can extend your home by up to 15% without the need for an application, but God forbid you happen to have bought a house in the wrong area.

Now, where did I leave my old Daddy's shotgun...?
Pfft, who am I kidding? I've never met my Dad!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 9:36, Reply)