Hotel SplendidoEnzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"
What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?
Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.
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chthonic, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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SkiingIt was with a sense of trepidation that me and the 2 people I would be sharing a room with with opened the door to our room in the hotel – We already knew it was going to be slightly cheap, and most probably nasty. How wrong we were! It surpassed all of our expectations.
After we dumped out bags in the main area of the apartment, we went to see what the other rooms were like in our new home. If you can call it that. There was only the one – A bathroom. A quick glance in the bidet told us all we needed to know – It was filled with pubic hair; it was definitely not ours. A more careful examination of the sleeping area revealed similar results; one of the beds (Which everyone else kindly gave to me) had several suspicious brown stains on it. Even better, the Television had been replaced by a log! This was a favorite with everyone in the hotel, as soon as we got in from the slopes everyone was clamoring to see ‘What was on the log’. We couldn’t find the remote however, so that remained a dream.
After puzzling about the state of the room (We finally decided that a fat, sweaty man named Bubba owned the apartment, and as soon as we left it, he would come in, shave his pubic hair off, distribute it around the apartment, and shit in my bed), we ourselves considered having a celebratory dump on the baking tray & turning the oven on, but decided that a simple piss in the bidet would do the job.
On the last night, everyone elected to come and visit our apartment to celebrate the end of the trip. They were all amazed by our bin (the sink, now overflowing with decomposing rubbish), and they also kindly decided to urinate off the balcony.
Unfortunately all too soon the rooms needed cleaning before we could leave. We did empty the sink of all the rubbish, and flush the toilet, before liberally scattering the apartment with pubic hair. After all, we were requested to leave it in the same condition we found it in.
Sorry, whoever was staying there next.
Length? Short, curly and black.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 21:49, Reply)
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