They decorate with cock!? Nowt like going with your theme, eh? :s
Lovely tale, and to be fair they haven't made it THAT overt on the site, have they?

I have a similar one but it entails a pub in Newcastle, I had some friends there who were bikers and one of their clan had 'come out' as a big gayer. He was, however, a VERY big gayer, as in brick shit house and tattooed, so he wasn't exactly your average gay club type, but his mates once they had gotten over the shock were very supportive and from then on would regularly include a gay pub or club into their pub crawls of a weekend, which they found were a welcome relief at the end of an evening of fights and broken bottles.

Anyhoo, one of their ex gang members from way back gets into town and doesn't know the score, he is, shall we use your term, 'Not enlightened' in such matters, he is also a boring loud mouthed excessively macho fuckwit who spends the entire evening pissing off every lass he lunges at and is getting on everyone's nerves.

He's also almost constantly using homophobic references which of course is now somewhat embarrassing to the rest of them, so while he is in the bogs the lads decide to have a laugh and not to change their normal practice of making the last drinking hole a gay one.

All is well for the first 10 minutes, they sell chilled 'Newcy Brun', so he's happy, but he's resting on the bar looking idly at the pictures and postcards during a dull moment and his eyes slowly widen as realisation slowly dawns.

He 'warns' the rest of them and sups up sharpish whilst standing bolt upright as if touching anything might mean he'll catch the gay, as the rest of us feign former ignorance but not bothered enough to leave, and after 20-30 minutes of watching him sweating and imploring and barely keeping a straight face in front of his plight, he then needs to pee.

Deciding it would be safer to pee outside than brave the unknown perils of a gay toilet, he announces his intentions overly loudly in an intentionally offensive way and scarpers out the door.

The manager of the pub, who knows us and by now has gotten the idea, quickly operates the external 'camera bubble' and calls everyone's attention to the CCTV monitor as he zooms in on this fellow's act of relief, and the entire bar has a darn good view!

Much hilarity!

And as one of the regulars said, 'Is it cold outside!?'

They decided they'd best stop the joke at that point in case he found out and tried to kill everyone that'd 'gayed up' his cock or something, so we all supped up and joined him, but we never did tell him!

Length? Make your own jokes...
( ..wil, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 15:23, Reply)