Chocolate Onken mousse walls
This isn't so much about the quality of hotel, more about the rubbishness of the night.

Last year I was living with my (now ex)missus and in the last year of my degree. It was the anniversary of us getting together and I things had been a bit ropey recently so I thought I'd treat her to a night away in a hotel (we both worked in bars and couldnt get a full weekend off).

Now, as a student I couldn't afford much so went on LateRooms.com opted for a quaint looking hotel in Melton Mowbray (cute little market town famous for pork pies? perfect, i thought) and booked a room with a four poster bed. Bang on.

Got there, and Melton in the rain seemed even more of a chav ridden dump even than Nottingham. Its a small town afterall. The hotel was little more than a town pub with some rooms upstairs. You know the type with the red flowery carpets and more fruit machines than varieties of beer.

Well, they never recieved a booking for the poster bed room and so had to make do with a regular double room that wasn't too bad but it did have a big lump on the ceiling and the floor slanted loads.

I wasn't too happy but thought we should make the most of it and proceeded to get wasted on the pubs drinks and some silly powder. Later in the night as nature (and substances) took its course we retired to our room for some fun an frolics, no sooner did we get in the room a than the bird complained of 'feeling funny' and then barfed up a previously eaten snack of Onken chocolate mousse all over the walls in quite spectacular fashion.

I must of thought i might still get some action out of the evening so i helped to clean it up and was quite sympathetic. That was until I went downstairs for a cigerrette and had a bit of a chuckle to myself.

Upon returning to the room I found i had taked the car keys and not the room keys and there was no answer from my (now wasted and unconcious) girlfriend. The hotel by this time was completely empty of guests and staff and I spent the next four hours wandering the halls looking for a staff member whilst still off my tits on said substances.

Eventually got let back in the room at 7am when the staff got in to make breakfast. We left sharpish and didn't exchange a word on the drive home.

We broke up the week after.

Length? (53 weeks)
(greasedupdeafguy broke something, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 13:54, Reply)