School Trips
Teachers can be so cruel:

When I was an impressionable young lad of about 10, we went on a week-long school trip to the Peak District. Lots of fresh air and exercise(TM) and visits to things of historical interest.

On the last evening before going home, we had a small party in the youth hostel where we were staying - the main event being an award ceremony based on the activities over the course of the week. In a suitably happy-clappy way, the teachers had attempted to concoct an award for *every* pupil, so there were no losers.

My best friend won "Biggest Chatterbox", and uttered the immortal line "I'm speechless.. For once!". The atmosphere was convivial, and he even got a enthusiastic response to his weak gag.

And me? I got the "I Can Read Anywhere" award, accompanied by a photo of myself reading a book half-way up a hill when we stopped for a lunch break one day. Cue an uncomfortable silence as I walked to the front to collect my award, and complete alienation from my peers for getting such a "bod" (read: nerdy) award.

On another trip a few years later, in a hurry to get ready to leave the hotel one day (we were in Austria at the time), I accidentally posted a postcard without an address written on it. The postman kindly returned the postcard to the hotel, and one of the teachers quickly deduced by process of elimination that it belonged to me.

My "prize"? THE WALLY HAT, which I was to wear indefinitely, until another wally was appointed. If I removed the hat, I would have to pay undisclosed forfeits. Cue the other kids on the trip regularly grabbing the hat from my head and hiding it to get me into trouble, and me retiring to my (shared) room in tears, sans hat.

Fortunately, I grew up into a fine, well-adjusted young man. :)
(noir, Tue 9 Aug 2005, 15:19, Reply)