Crazy Relativescurvylittlegoth writes, "My Grandma is crazy, crazy mad. As well as regularly putting curses on us all, she once fell asleep in the armchair on a sunny afternoon, Barley Wine in one hand, Peter Stuyveson in the other, only to wake up several hours later to a Darth Vader sounding fireman. She thought she was in HELL as the smoke and flames billowed round her..."
Are any of your relatives this loopy?
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chthonic, Thu 5 Jul 2007, 15:59)
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If You Can't Beat Them, Leave Them In Blackpool.My sister disliked me so much for being the new kid on the block, because I was an irresistibly cute ickle brother, stealing her mantle of most loved kid in the family with my bug-eyed charm. She suffered from a bout of temporary insanity and wanted rid of me at the earliest opportunity.
So there I was, with my little chubby face, sitting next to my sister in the back of the car, just about to doze asleep after a nice bottle of milk and an afternoon of happy gurgling, which made the family 'aww' like the easily-pleased fools they were.
We're parked at a set of traffic lights, we're waiting for the lights to turn green so we can head home after a wonderful day at the beach.
The light turns amber and my sister unfastens my seatbelt, opens the car door and pushes me out. I don't know how she rehearsed it, but the timing was perfect, the sounds of the deed were masked by the car's engine, which was wheezing itself into motion. I bounced out of the car and landed by the side of the road, my eyes wide as the moon, watching with a look of confusion as the car begins to pull away. If she hadn't shut the car door so loudly, she might have gotten away with it.
The grazed knee I obtained from the fall wrecked an otherwise wonderful 21st birthday.
(I was actually 2, but if a joke cliché's there, you've got to take it.)
(, Tue 10 Jul 2007, 10:48, Reply)
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