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This is a question Crazy Relatives

curvylittlegoth writes, "My Grandma is crazy, crazy mad. As well as regularly putting curses on us all, she once fell asleep in the armchair on a sunny afternoon, Barley Wine in one hand, Peter Stuyveson in the other, only to wake up several hours later to a Darth Vader sounding fireman. She thought she was in HELL as the smoke and flames billowed round her..."

Are any of your relatives this loopy?

(, Thu 5 Jul 2007, 15:59)
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This question is now closed.

Answering your own question there poppet?
Last last last
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:39, Reply)
Why would you want to be last you bunch of under-achievers.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:37, Reply)
Northern parts
Halfway up Scotland. In winter the sun rises at about 9am, but on dull days it's not much more than twilight all day. And further north, like in the Shetland Islands, it's even worse.

Good at this time of year though. It's never really dark.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:34, Reply)
Which parts would those be?
I've experienced northern Norway in November, but in my parts (midwestern US), we sometimes have sun til 10pm, but never dark til 10am...
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:32, Reply)
You should live around these parts. In winter it's sometimes dark at 10am, and at this time of year it's still broad daylight at 10pm!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:29, Reply)
I'm perfectly normal
And that's why I'm here
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:29, Reply)
I wouldn't say that I'm the craziest one in my family
But I am going senile at a very young age (24), as are a number of other b3tans, it seems. My boyfriend and I were watching our roommate play a video game the other day, and there was something specific he was looking for. I saw it, and promptly urged him to look to the left, as it was right there next to him. He responds by going in the wrong direction. So, I get more excited. Why is he going the wrong way????? What, is he an idiot? So, eventually, I end up yelling "Left! Left! Left! No, left! Not right! Left!!!" while he goes farther and farther in the wrong direction. I'm sure you can see where this is going... At this point, my boyfriend saw fit to inform me that the roomie actually was going left, and that the word I was looking for was "right."

We've all done it now and then, but I think screaming frantically at my roommate takes it to a whole new level.... Actually, I do things like this quite often....

I also fell asleep one afternoon on the couch, woke up around 10pm, saw that it was 10, saw that it was DARK outside, and panicked. I couldn't figure out A) why it was dark out at 10am, B) why nobody in my family saw fit to wake me up for school, and C) why nobody else in my family was up for work/school. I ran upstairs and came very very close to waking up my mom and brother before I remembered that there are, indeed, two 10 o'clocks in each day, and I was most likely experiencing the second one. I'm just glad I realized it before I woke up the family....

See guys, if you want to claim your own, personal insanity, the key is to provide examples of said insanity. Nobody cares if you just say "I'm mad!" and leave it at that. It's sort of assumed that if you're on b3ta, you're not entirely normal...
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:27, Reply)
"The reporter from the local newspaper had a spire from the church fall on his head at the summer fete."

What, the whole spire? Bloody hell!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:25, Reply)
I'm not going to be last!

I'm never bloody first either.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:25, Reply)
South west
What kind of accidents then? Girls having their brothers' kids?

(Oh, I'm in a silly mood today)
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:21, Reply)
like to live in the south west. Devon, Dorset or Cornwall would be supoib.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:20, Reply)
Strange life-goals...
I will be last!

Sounds like a teenage boy trying not to come too soon =)
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:18, Reply)
.. or about time for
.. having a damned good arm-breaker
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:16, Reply)
Damn you all
I will be last!

I will, I will, I will

*foot stomps*
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:16, Reply)
Thursday afernoon at that
Just about time for changing QOTW.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:15, Reply)
Not last
Anyone would think it was Thursday.

Oh, err...
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:14, Reply)
Quick quick quick
Me me me
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:11, Reply)
short-lived final glory
... sorry. ;)
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:09, Reply)
Yey, last!!
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 15:07, Reply)
i think it might be me in my family...
...i live in my parent's shed...

need i say more?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 14:42, Reply)
And Southerners
are generally pretty pointless...

Stupid accents, stupid clothes and an unfounded sense of superiority.

Obsessed with image, money and being cunts.

I had a Southern relative once. He was fucking annoying.

Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule, and my rule about vegetarians. In fact, they coincide in one notable case.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 14:30, Reply)
Even Chickenlady is on holiday,
And all the Scandinavians I work with. Lucky sods.

Oh, I had an uncle. He was an alky, and a policeman. He stole evidence for me to sell. The world was good.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 14:27, Reply)
MY uncle.
Seems there's more than one, but this one was mine.

Just before he died, he was managing to down 2 bottles of whiskey, plus disturbing amounts of beer per week.

His hard-working wife funded this habit, and - having had one hubby drink himself to death - lived in fear of THIS hubby doing the same.

His death was strangely not at all alcohol related. He suffered a sub-arachnoidal heamatoma. No. I can't be bothered to look it up for spelling purposes, though I can translate. Brain - blood vessel - pop - spidery looking pattern - dead.

This happened in an instant.... the instant occured while he was showering at 8am. My aunt returned home at 8pm.

... You know how your fingers get when you've been in the bath too long or done a particularly lengthy bout of washing up? hmm... the human body does that after 12 hours in the water it seems.

My aunt is now a nervous wreck, seemingly 2 seconds away from terminal break-down at any moment.

Wasn't that fun?

Can you tell I'm stuck at work today while EVERYONE else is on holiday? I'm not bitter. Not in the slightest.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 14:20, Reply)
My mother's son
Has attracted the reputation of a pornographic liar on a popular website.
Oh, wait a minute...
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 14:00, Reply)
I know a bloke from Tamworth who's brother is a scary mentalist. He's always getting his cock out in the pub/street/wherever the fancy takes him.

Now, I'm not saying that he's inbred, but his family tree is a stump*.

*and he's from Tamworth
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 13:59, Reply)
My great aunt...
was a perfect example of people's minds slowly letting go as they went on..

At the age of 96 she still used to potter around her tiny surrey village, and deliver the local rag... but after receiving a "well done, you've reached the ton" letter from Queenie, she started to go down hill.

The poor thing ended up incontinent, but slightly aware of it, therefore spent every other minute with her finger up her arse trying to see if she needed to go... Problem was the Altzheimers... (SP?) She couldn't remember when she'd last checked.

The absolutely worst thing about her slow spiral into senility was that she knew she was going... and she knew she was doing slightly embarrassing things.. and she was ashamed of it.

Old people loosing their minds. As we get older and science gets better at preventing our deaths, our downward spirals will be worse than the ones we've witnessed.

Life sucks. Get a helmet.

I just got myself a lovely grip-action ball-lock tripod head on E-Bay. made by "Man-Frotto"... Now there's a funny name. I can now take more photos with greater accuracy with which to bore my grandkids senseless as I dribble down my tweed tie. Time has taught me that no matter how chipper and cool you used to be, We will all be reduced to wearing flatcaps and remarking upon how much cheaper things were when we were younger.

I'm not even 30 yet.. and I still grip about the daft price/size of mars-bars. I mean really.. A crunchie bar used to be 16p where i grew up... now they're - well, unavailable in Sweden - but now I bet they're 45p in an Esso Service station. "Tiger in the tank" my arse. Nowadays I can't even afford a kitten from a shelter.. let alone a sodding tiger. It's all making me wonder if an electric car is the future.. and .. CHRIST. ELECTRIC??? no WAY.

Honda Pry-ass drivers are the worst in the frikking WORLD. They actually out-strip Volvo-driver idiocy by a MILE. Just LOOK at the bumpers. They're all scratched to fuck. Sure.. the car is shaped like a sex toy, but there's no need to try to violently ram it into any hole that you see.

They're the kind of people that sift through their on shit to try and optimise their diet. "am I eating enough Fibre" WHO CARES.. you're not bloody dead yet... but in 40 years' time you'll be dribbling like a mong and wondering when nurse will be along to change your nappy. Sift through your shit THEN.. not now.

Fuck this. I'm off to do something FUN.
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 13:56, Reply)
to my previous post offering conclusive proof that all men are, in fact, brothers, well, distant cousins at any rate; and also related to the last QOTW where I was told in no uncertain terms to stop doubting the Uxbridge and keep my bloody eyes open for a change, I would like to comment on the Middlesex branch of my extended family.

There is a wandering busker that I particularly enjoyed the other day. Dirty, stained tracksuit, battered, out of tune child's guitar that looked like it was bought from Argos and greasy, lank hair. He obviously thought he was playing Wembley stadium as he was jumping around like Pete Townshend. His actual performance was a few bars of Tracy Chapman's Fast Car and then he'd sing the entire song, in the wrong key, without any accompaniment whatsoever.

Apart from his similarly dressed mate who was dancing like a mentalist next to him.

Anybody else notice how as the QOTW drags itself into Thursday afternoon peoples' gaz flirtations start to spill out into public?
(, Thu 12 Jul 2007, 13:55, Reply)

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