That's gotta hurt
I recently realised that I can't really afford to spend the money I used to spend on going to see Southend play football, as I now live the opposite side of London, so the travel is too expensive (as well as the fact that it's now £25 to watch them - twenty five fucking quid to watch shitty third tier football, it's a digrace, in my day...[insert long rant about rip off football here])

Any-hoo

I still like my football fix if I’m at a loose end, so I started to walk down to my local non-league team some Saturday afternoons. A fiver to get in and no travel costs, luvverly.

A few weeks ago, I was standing about 10 yards to the side goal, on a slope, as the away team were coming towards me. The ball came to the forward who lined up a shot that he couldn't miss.

Except, being a shite non-league footballer, he did miss.

By about 10 yards.

It took me a second to realise I was about to get smacked square in the face by the ball, but I just about reacted in time to bend over and spin away.

I guess I kind of expected to still get smacked in the back of the head.

What I certainly didn't expect was to see the ball cannon straight into the face of the 10 year old boy standing behind me up the slope, forcing his hot dog so far into his mouth that Linda Lovelace would have been proud.

I also didn't mean to laugh while he bawled his eyes out.

And I didn't expect to be too scared to go back to the ground since after his Dad told me he didn't want to see my 'fucking face' again.

It's difficult to hide at a non league football ground.

I need something else cheap to do on Saturday afternoons.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:36, 10 replies)

That's great *click*
Once got hit in the face by a Stuart Pearce free kick when he was playing for my beloved Coventry City (even though they are utter utter bollocks)... I thought I was ok. I also thought I was the King of the Netherlands for a while too...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:45, closed)

the qotw needs more stories like this
because all of the others are dull. mine included.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:52, closed)

Nicely done!
I actually laughed at that, first, and likely only laugh I'll get from this QOTW.
*clicks*
( Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:00, closed)

If you're near Milton Keynes..
get yourself over to the Snowdome - for kids breaking themselves, nothing beats watching the ambitious 12 year old attempting to repeat the moves they have seen on Amped using a hired snowboard...

That and the look of misery on those who usually credit-carded a holiday in Chamonix being forced to face economic reality and ski in the UK instead...

I actually quite enjoy boarding there, as I live just down the road and I can do it instead of going to the gym during the week - it keeps me sharp for when I get back tot he mountains, but then again, I don't owe £40k and earn £20k... :-)
(Chad, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:34, closed)

I fancy a trip there, or to Tamworth
cos I always spend the first half day of a holiday getting my balance back.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:22, closed)

*Click!*
and now I have to come up with something funny for this QOTW, consensus is that it's needed..
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:35, closed)

This QOTW
Has made me monumentally depressed. Funny stories FTW! Also clicked :-)
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:42, closed)

well
go in the away end instead?

Non-league football is ace. But then as a Cambridge United fan I have to say that nowadays :/
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 9:03, closed)

'The away end'?
I assume Cambridge have a better ground than my local team then.

The football field was surrounded by...well...a slightly more slopey field.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 15:11, closed)

Um.
Start playing it yourself?
(Not him., Sun 25 Jan 2009, 11:29, closed)