Creepy....
Duing my times saving the lame and lazy of Laahndan town, I was called with my mate Dave (now works for the Met Police; about the size, weight and temperament of a grizzly bear with scrotum rash) and we were called to a sheltered housing scheme in a rare bit of greenbelt on the London/Essex border.

Anyway, we arrived and walked into the block. Doris (all old women are called Doris) was absolutely fine - just woke up with a bit of asthma and scared herself, so I asked Dave to nip back to the ambulance to grab some paperwork so we could refer her to her own GP the next day.

Dave came back in about 2 minutes later with the paperwork and a look like he'd just been fingered by a poultergheist. He was not a happy camper. I asked him if he was alright, and he just shook his head quickly and stared at the front door.

So, we made Doris a cup of tea and left her in peace. As we walked down the corridor I asked Dave what in the name of God's larger and more fruity left testicle was wrong.

"Dunno Carrot. Just got the creeps going out there. Really felt uncomfortable..."

I suggested that Dave in fact came fully equipped with a womb, cervix and all other relevant female contrivances, but as he said...

"say what you want, it's fucking spooky out there."

Anyway we walked out into the carpark.
In the forest
In the middle of the night
With a wind blowing.
I looked at Dave, his face a mask of terror, mirroring mine.

Without a word, we ran like a pair of crusty paedophiles trying to reach the front row of a Justin Bieber concert, jumped into the ambulance and locked the doors. Without saying a word, Dave gunned the engine and wheelspun a 4 tonne LDV ambulance out of the carpark.

We drove a mile before we both looked at each other and said, in unison

"What if it's in the back?"

"You look"
"Fuck that, YOU look"
"No sodding way"
"OK, on 3? 1...2...3..."

We both turned. Yep, the back of the ambulance was entirely devoid of zombies, shamblers, rabid wolves and other assorted undead/axe murderers.

So, we got spooked by wind....
What a pair of hombots.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:47, 1 reply)

hey
thats a funny story man!
(fifilaqua did a woopsie i the corner on, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 13:57, closed)