Me + work = disaster
I have a longstanding tradition of acting like an absolute twat at work, including some casual jobs where people were too nice to point out my various faux pas - such as taking obnoxiously long lunch breaks and continuously stuffing my face while half-heartedly tapping away on the keyboard.

This one stands out though, because it's a prime example of how completely awkward I am and have been since birth.

A friend who had been at a company which shall not be named for several months heard I was job-hunting, and encouraged me to turn in my resume, which I duly did, got through the interviews fine, and was hired on. I'm an excitable person sometimes, and in the first week was slightly too high-spirited; when break time rolled around, I paid my friend a visit by bouncing up behind his chair, giving him a playful nudge and teasing him about taking the afternoon off to be with his girlfriend.

Turns out he was taking the afternoon off. And he was mostly doing it for the benefit of his ladyfriend.

Inevitable piss-taking ensued, and I slunk off with my tail between my legs to be greeted at my desk with a stern email suggesting NOT to spout off my big mouth again. Duly noted, I thought meekly, and swore up and down it wouldn't happen again.

Two days later I visited him again on lunch hour, chatted for a bit and for some reason I still cannot fathom, foghorned 'Now quit slacking off!' as I was leaving the room.

It's important to note I have a bad habit of speaking quickly and unintelligibly, which I did then. So, it looked to all present as if I had bounded into the room, exchanged a few words and screamed gibberish at one of their co-workers as I flounced merrily away.

I no longer work there (through some fault of my own), and given this type of first impression it's probably for the best.

Length? /cringe
(Rem Sir, why are you thrashing about on the floor?, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 23:10, Reply)