Dentist related embarrassment
Scaryduck's story reminded me of my own private hell moment with dentists...

Couple of years ago, around Christmas time, I was stricken with a hugely painful toothache. I managed to get an emergency appointment with a dentist in a town about twenty miles away: the night beforehand, we had a friend over and spent the evening having a few drinks - a combination of Guiness and Jack Daniels, never a good idea.

As a direct result, I woke up ridiculously late the next morning, starving hungry and with 25 minutes to get to my appointment. Cue a hideously fast and bleary drive through the freezing weather and much swearing at lorries as I tried to make it in some semblance of 'on time'.

Got there only five minutes late, and the very lovely lady dentists strapped me down and had a poke about in my mouth. Turns out I needed a tooth removed, so they stuck me full of anesthetic and got to work.

Except it was all a bit sensitive, and I could well and truly feel them probing around. I made my protest felt, and they happily stuck another needle-full into my gum.

Now. Here's a top tip. Don't ever get a local anesthetic without having made sure you've had something to eat within the last few hours. Low blood sugar + anesthetic = not much fun.

Because what happened next was unexpected: full body paralysis.

Except for my sphincter.

OK, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Basically, I found myself totally unable to move or make any noise other than a panicked grunt - and then I started farting to wake the dead. The previous nights booze took its toll and there was *nothing* I could do to stop it.

To their credit, the lovely lady dentists managed to stay almost straight-faced while opening all the windows and standing well away from me.
(trumpet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:35, 1 reply)

Bastard!
I was happily chuckling away in the office to that one!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:57, closed)