"You shouldn't smoke in Bed y'know..."
.... Was where it started to go wrong.

I have no idea how the conversation had started, but I ended up coming out with that line at a party... I was faced down with one of the most piercing stares I've ever got, and then discarded.

It was then that someone filled in the gap for me.

This was early 2005, shortly after - so I was to find out - the death of Monica Zetterlund. I was with a bunch of Musos, and amongst them was one of her relatives.

Monica was an Iconic Jazz singer who had become bed-ridden, yet still craved her ciggies. Her cause of death was simple.. she accidentally set her bed on fire while having a smoke. At the age of 67, bed-ridden and terrified, she rang the fire department the instant she realised her potential fate and stayed on the line long enough to tell the switchboard operator that her legs were burning and asking "Could you please ask them to hurry? I don't want to go this way"

The lads did hurry, but weren't fast enough to stop potential turning into reality.

I had just told one of her relatives the dangers of smoking in bed.... And EVERYONE apart from me had known who they were. :o(
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:14, 2 replies)

I don't understand these kind of stories
The piercing-starer was clearly a knobhead for assuming you would know who they were. The self-caused death of their idiot relative just proves you right about smoking in bed being just for losers.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 12:20, closed)

I was gonna say what the Doc did...
... but I doubt I'd have used the word knobhead. Probably cunt. I'll let you decide which is better.
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 19:41, closed)