Ah, school sports.
I was never very good at sports anyway, but this didn't help matters...

Playing rounders (because my school was too cheap to buy proper sports equipment), and there's a rule that if you fail to hit the ball properly 3 times, you may run to first base.

I swing and I miss 3 times. Somewhere in my young, bored brain, I realise I'm supposed to move now. So what do you do when you have to move from the hitter position? That's right, you run like the clappers and try and get as many bases around the diamond as you can before the ball can reach the next base. So I set off, legs whirring as fast as they can, leaning sharply into the diamond to turn corners faster. I felt like I was running on air, with angels carrying my every step. I was doing it! I was doing sports! I was a real boy! I made it all the way to 3rd base before I decide it was too risky to go on.

The teacher says, "Well, that was a great run, but you were supposed to stop at first base".

So I walk across the diamond, head hung in shame, as all the other kids laugh at me.
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 16:39, 2 replies)

I was rubbish at sports too
I always found it mystifying how the teachers never seemed to tell you the rules, but everyone else magically knew how to play.
(Marmite Omelette ...but I feel better having screamed, don't you?, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 16:42, closed)

I remember rounders...
... one of the few (read - only) sports I was ever any good at.

However, I'll always remember a kid in my class who when being called up to bat made a proper backswing as the ball was thrown and managed to twat himself right on the other side of his skull... sending him to the floor.

Knocking yourself out with your own bat must be pretty cringe-worthy :D
(The_Mighty_Spleen, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 19:33, closed)