My Dad
About 15 years ago my dad sat down for Breakfast with quite the horrific hangover, however what was more impressive was the cut he now had covering his nose, one of those Hollywood scars that just look fucking cool.

I began asking him how he got it, imagining him as a drunken pugilist, one of those swashbucklers from yesteryear. He wouldn't actually tell me though, just saying that he walked into a lamp post whilst drunk. Now he's quite a big bloke and I was (still am) a 6 foot drip, so I was fascinated by all this going out with the workmates, drinking, fighting.. stuff I'd never really do.

Anyhow 10 years later and I'm at my sisters wedding, me and my dad are bonding and I bring up the nose thing again, finally he's drunk enough to tell me what happend.

Turned out he'd gone to the cash machine, started to withdraw cash and a car pulled up behind him full of the usual bored scallys...

By now I'm leaning forward in anticipation he's looking around making sure no one is listening, just me that gets to know his dark side, man stuff

..anyhow car pulls up, my dad thinks shit, I'm going to get mugged, grabs his cash as fast as he can, turns to run and bounds straight into a lamp post, knocked him out cold, apparently as he came round all he could see was the car bouncing around as the buggers lost a lung laughing.

I think he just lied there for a while, crying
(Snuffy114 demands a cyber razor cut, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 19:35, Reply)