Double cringe
My mate Stacy (who is also going to be my best woman at my wedding - tradition can fuck right off in my book) is a lovely lady. She has cerebal palsy, but fortunately it only affects her ability to walk - which she can do, but sometimes with difficulty.

A good few years ago now, Tourette's and I travelled to hers for a barbeque. It was the first time we'd met her now-husband, and many of her friends were there, none of whom I'd met before.

As the day wore on, one of her friends asked Stacy something. Stacy gave her an answer, but she didn't catch the reply and asked her what she said. Again, Stacy replied, and again, her friend didn't catch the response.

"I said 'x' you silly cow; what are you, deaf?", laughing as she replied.

"Erm, yeah", replied her mate, indicating the hearing aid.

"Oh fuck, I forgot".

Not long after, same friend asked where the bottle opener was, and again, Stacy responded by pointing out it was on the table.

"Where on the table?" asked her friend.

"Oh for Christ's sake", Stacy laughed, "are you blind as well as deaf?"

Heartbeat pause. Realisation dawns quickly.

"Shit, I forgot. You've got a false eye as well, haven't you"?

Happy days.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:34, 3 replies)

If I remember rightly...
the very same lassy also had an artificial leg.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 12:48, closed)

No parrot?


sorry...
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:00, closed)

No parrot
The leg completely slipped my mind!

Hearing impairment? Bloody bad luck.

One eye as well? Really fucking unfortunate.

False leg? Now you're just attention seeking!

Nice girl, from what I can remember though. And took it all in her stride, if you'll pardon the unfortunate phrasing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:05, closed)