My Best Friend's Wedding
Well, her second one to be precise. My wonderful best mate had a terrible time a few years back, when her wonderful first husband turned out to be a cunt of the highest order. After a messy and painful divorce, she met her current husband, a fantastic bloke and has now got an adorable two year old son.

But before he could become her second husband, there had to be a wedding. I was a bridesmaid at her first wedding. I’m still reliving the trauma of the dress she made me wear (that deserves its own story and will doubtless get it); this time around, as she now had four nieces, she decided that she would like them to be bridesmaids. However, I didn’t get away with things that easily, I was to be unofficial wedding bitch and music person. This involved going to the venue on the morning of the do and checking that everything was in order, setting up the ipod with the speakers at the hotel and cueing up the music for when she made her entrance.

It didn’t start well; her ipod packed in the night before the wedding so we had to hastily transfer the wedding music to mine and check that everything still worked okay. The day dawns and I run round to the hotel, check the balloons, decorations, flowers, place settings, special meals, timings of the toast, all the things that help the day go smoothly. I set up the music, escort the errant latecomers to the correct function suite then stand at the back waiting for the nod from the hotel manager.

As the bridal party arrives at the door, I have a momentary, bowel-loosening panic. What if I’ve cued up the wrong song? Suppose she walks down the aisle to “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails? Suppose I’ve lined up a podcast by mistake. I check again, no, fine and hit play… And out comes the strains of the wedding march. I’ve done it. I got it right. I didn’t fuck up. Thank God…

So what was cringeworthy?

6 hours later, lubricated by a fair amount of cava and generally feeling relaxed, I was standing waiting to go into the dinner talking to her mum (very religious), grandmother (very religious), sister (terrifying), boss (also terrifying) and my mother (known for laughing at inappropriate moments). I was complemented on how well the organisation had gone in the morning and how hard I must have worked. I thought it would be cute and charmingly self deprecating to tell them about my panic about cueing up the music. As I’m telling them I’m thinking “can’t use Nine Inch Nails as a reference point, think more contemporary.”

So I finish with the line “So imagine the embarrassment if she walked down the aisle to… *thinks* ‘Ooops, I did it again…”

Silence. Silence as the group process the fact that I’ve drawn painful attention to the fact that this is her disapproved of second wedding. Silence only punctuated by the sound of my mother trying to cram her entire fist into her mouth to stop the laughter.

Fuckwit.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:36, 3 replies)

hahahaha

( Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:38, closed)

That's reminded me of a story for this QOTW
so I'm off to write it.

*chuckles*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 13:46, closed)

This
QOTW is just made for you isn't it Rakky?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 30 Nov 2008, 14:46, closed)