The Toilet
A large group of us were staying at the Adelphi hotel in liverpool. I was having a drink in the pub (attached to the side of the hotel if I remember correctly) whilst waiting for everyone to arive so we could be on our way out for a pub crawl.
A few people I didn't know were also present so I get introduced and various conversation start up. I go to shake hands with a new fella when he promptly knocks his fresh pint all over my jeans.
Not a problem, off I trot to my room for I have brought additional jeans.

On the way up, and after having had a few pints I decided a nice shite would be in order to gain an extra bit of space for the nights drinking.

Our room is at the end of a corridor (think the coridor in Ghostbusters when Bill Murray gets slimed by slimer) and our toilet is opposite the main door.
Being in the room myself I didn't close the bathroom door. I was hunched over in mid-wipe when the main door all of a sudden opened, no warning, no knock nothing.
It was housekeeping to come and drop off some extra pillows my wife had requested at reception.

I was in mid-wipe pose exposed to the entire corridor.

I wouldn't have minded, but the woman just looked right at my cock, nothing else and just froze.
Whilst I have a load of shit on the end of toilet paper.

I still try to blank out the people looking down the corridor at me, it felt like an entire minute before she reacted and closed the door, probably just 5 seconds.
(Opanoid Look sweats dripping off them, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:39, 4 replies)

you could have got her fired
open door or not, they're supposed to knock first.
besides, the adelphi is overpriced and shit.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 16:45, closed)

Indeed
Your right with the overpriced and shit.

I'm not a sadistic bastard though so couldn't be bothered to report it, got quite a few laughs out of it all weekend though.
(Opanoid Look sweats dripping off them, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 16:02, closed)

housekeeping:
...another contender occupation for the real top-10 PTSD-risking careers. Sod mine clearance - you're expecting to find little deadly surprises, and you're theoretically kitted up for it.

But in your case, there she went, innocently distributing fluffy pillows; only to be confronted by an unexpected tableaux of horror that was you, having a dump. The poor woman!
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 6:35, closed)

lol
I don't think she was looking at the toilet paper, I think she was looking at the old wedding tackle.

But she probably was scarred for life.
(Opanoid Look sweats dripping off them, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 13:54, closed)