Labia
Whilst away on a hostel trip at the tender age of 17 I made the foolish error of eating only fruit cups and jelly for a full week (there weren't many vegetarian cheap foods).
As a result, a nasty bout of constipation gripped me, and after a few days of intense discomfort, I just had to go to the doctor.

I live in a small town, so seeing the doctor, who lives on my street, about this was embarrassing enough, I thought. How wrong I was: apparently a full body examination was required for my symptoms.
Again, intense red-faced shame. Just as I had rezipped and vowed never to tell anyone of this, the offending nurse turned from her desk, looked me straight in the eyes and uttered:
"By the way, dear, you've got lovely labia".

I think I ran, and to this day I ponder what on earth the right reply to that would have been
(JennaTaylor is gleaming like a well oiled Danny DeVito, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 5:10, 7 replies)

On a totally unrelated note
I have a design client called Jenny Taylor.

It took me until the 3rd meeting to realise the connotation of her name and have not felt comfortable since.
( bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 5:30, closed)

Photos
...or it didn't happen :)

And the proper answer in this situation is 'Thanks, I grew them myself.'
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 7:52, closed)

A full body examination
For constipation? Remarks about labia?

I'm guessing there's only one local surgery, where patients are seen mainly for the doctor's amusement.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 8:31, closed)

Hmmm....
"I'm going to have you up for medical malpractice" would be a good place to start.

Congratulations for having aesthetically pleasing bits though.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 3 Dec 2008, 9:33, closed)

I's confused
"A lovely labia"
Or simply
"lovely labia".
Otherwise I know less about human female anatomy than I thought :S
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:20, closed)

Labium
Labia is plural: Lovely labia, a lovely labium
(JennaTaylor is gleaming like a well oiled Danny DeVito, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 17:51, closed)

Reply?
A great big slap! Who the fuck does she think she is? That is a totally inappropriate remark from a nurse!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 17:59, closed)