Public speaking isn't for everyone...
Clendrix reminds me of an event that made my whole company cringe.

It was a conference, and the entire company is packed into the sort of stuffy room that hotels like to hire out for these types of occasion.

We're into day two and there is a mist of alcohol infused sweat being slowly moved about above our heads by the ineffective, noisy air-con.

Hours of tedium have dragged everyone into an hypnotic despair, and the sight from the back is of a sea of nodding dogs like those seen in the Churchill ads, as heads drop into a fuzzy half sleep before swiflty bouncing back to consciousness.

Then a new speaker steps up onto the stage. He's a sales man, and not accustomed to speaking at these events, and it's immediately obvious to the assembled masses that he's not just a little nervous.

He bumbles through the beginning of his speech, firing off slide after slide with machine-gun like rapidity. I've done these things myself, so I know just how nerve racking it can be at first.

I don't really remember what he was talking about, as I'd spent the first five minutes of his presentation likening him to a hyperactive insect; buzzing about the stage as though high on a heady mix of speed and red bull.

But then he began discussing the multi-national nature of his project. This meant listing each nation involved and, as if there were any doubt, he would provide further clarification with an ever so slightly racist gesture.

After rattling off an extensive list of collaborating nations, he arrives at the coup de grace. The moment that caused an entire room to bend double in a full, physical cringe; his supporting gesture to help clarify what he meant by "Ze Germans" was to turn sideways and shout Heil Hitler, complete with outstretched arm and finger moustache, before taking a few goose-steps along the stage.

The synchronised wince would have been impressive, if it weren't so utterly painful.
( Moey, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:23, 5 replies)

Wonderful!
I find it hard to believe, but then people do some very strange things when they're nervous. I hope this is true.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:44, closed)

Unfortunately it really is.
I wouldn't believe it myself, had I not been there to see it. Even then I wondered if the previous evening's drinking was planting images in my head, but since everyone else cringed along with me, I had to accept that it had really happened.
( Moey, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 11:51, closed)

anyone
shouting Heil Hitler on stage and goose-stepping should be knighted.

Apart from real Nazis, of course, who should only get the George Cross. Or something.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:21, closed)

I think
he's secretly proud of it.

He plays up the shame when reminded, but there's a glint in his eye that says "Yes, I did that and it was fucking ace!"
( Moey, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:28, closed)

cringe!?!?!
this is one of the greatest moments in history!
(jordanchaos isn’t just any PeaRoast, this is a M&S PeaRoast, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:37, closed)