Last night
As you know, I'm in a graduate degree program for nursing. Last night my study group (there's 8 or 9 of us, all told) had a study session. I didn't pay attention and when I arrived, discovered it was for "Assessment" i.e. physical exams.

At least I had showered, but was wearing heart spangled underpants and a white granny bra. I am also the oldest by 10 years and fattest by far with some spectacular abnormalities. I didn't want to chicken out in front of my friends, so I grit my teeth and put on the hospital gown and laid down.

Cue my friends running in every 10 minutes to see some "New" anomaly on my sad body. The shame! The horror!

The best was when Beth yelled "Oh my god!" loud enough to alert the neighbors when she saw my hernia.

sigh
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 18:27, 5 replies)

A hernia, you say?
to the tune of "Living In America"

Help me out! Dig!
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia
All the time, such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Gonna be my ruination
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation
Feel so old

Too much back pain
Good gawd, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now... Say it!
Better call it quits now
Now I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow

Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia
Got to have an operation

I live with a hernia
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia
Wait a minute...
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in
There's incomplete
Epigastric
Bladder
Strangulated
Lumbar hernia
Richter's hernia
Obstructed
Inguinal and Direct

Living with a hernia...Rupture!
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia
I feel bad!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 3 Dec 2008, 18:44, closed)

That is truly a masterpiece, sir!
I'm going to stand up and sing this for the entire class when I'm done at my Patho final Friday.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 2:33, closed)

hahaha!
i've got an umbilical hernia, it's turned my belly button inside out. it looks like i've got a deformed ostrich egg growing out of my stomach. great for freaking kids out!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 18:45, closed)

Hernia!
You better get that fixed before you start lifting patients! Ouch!
(Woofie, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 19:09, closed)

Oh jeez
I've had it for ages-my first kid started it in 1990 and my last kid-4320 grams- wrecked my belly muscles once and for all.

I lift people all the time-it doesn't help and sometimes I can feel the muscle wall rip a little bit.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 2:32, closed)