Apparently I'm a size 16
My internet Mrs (who at the time was my internet bird) had a load of clothes she wanted rid of, and I'm a great customer/supporter of charity shops so rather than just get shot of them I said I'd take them to my local Oxfam. Sorting them into bags I came across a "little black number" as I believe the ladies call them, in velvet, so I thought I'd put it on and when she came round it greet her at the top of the stairs with an Audrey Hepburnesque "I feel fantastic!!" whilst leaning over the banister in a a 50's film star stylee. Brilliant laugh I thought. So I'm listening out for cars to pull up and getting into position, car pulls up, footsteps up path, my flatmate's shape through the frosted glass. Bugger! Leg it into bedroom and put dressing gown on, act normal (albeit with tighter gown than usual), he says he's just popping to Safeways, no probs, bye. Phew! Relax again, resume listening, car pulls up, stand at top of stairs looking wistful, footsteps up path, flatmate's girlfriend's shape through the frosted glass. Bugger! Leg it into bedroom and put dressing gown on, act normal (albeit with tighter gown than usual, again), tell her that he's just popped to Safeways, no probs, bye. At this point the whole sponteneity of the wizard dress gag starts to fade until another car pulls up. Resume position, my girlie's shape appears through the glass, door opens, "I feel fantastic!!" I say, and she just laughed at me. At that point I realised I looked a complete tit as opposed to the comedy event of the evening. To this day she is good enough to remind me that if I have an idea it's probably going to end in humiliation, tears and disaster.

Which is nice.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 15 Mar 2007, 22:23, Reply)