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This is a question Cunning Plans

I once devised a totally foolproof cunning plan to attract the attention of bikini-clad women, which - as you might imagine - failed miserably. Ever come up with a cunning plan for something? Did it work? What went wrong? Do you look back through the filter of the years with a burning sense of shame?

Suggested by Ring of Fire

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:57)
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I've had cunning plan for a sci-fi movie like Terminator only cheaper special effects
In the future, geek Pope Shax IX is going to stop an alien invasion of the earth; he invents the special MacGuffin weapon playing with stuff in his shed at the weekends, and has superfast reflexes from playing computer games, and wins the war against the aliens but they have a cunning plan and send one alien back in time to change the course of his life.

Instead of being a mad killer robot, the alien disguises itself as a sexy woman who seduces him, has kids and reels him into a life of mediocrity.

Instead of lettng him have time for inventing laser death rays and honing his reflexes on Call of Duty, she keeps him busy with boring shit like taking the kids to doctors appointments, swimming lessons and football lessons; interminable weekends of traipsing around all the shops in town to pick a never ending carousel of furniture, paints, wallpapers, carpets and curtains, only to change her mind and start all over again.

In the final scene, on his deathbed, she reveals her alien self, drains his remaining life force, and the alien invasion begins.

Fuck My Life.
(, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 3:17, 6 replies)
Possibly the best
QOTW answer I've read this year.
(, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 8:02, closed)
Man the fuck up. That is a good life.
(, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:02, closed)
^ this ...
A lot.
(, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 12:22, closed)
Yeah? You come and live through it then.
I repaired a wiring fault in the loft yesterday afternoon. Apparently the logical extension of that job, while I was up a ladder, playing with electricity, was to empty and then tear out two perfectly good wardrobes, then go out and buy two more similar ones and then build them and move all the clothes back in before bedtime. When I asked if she had picked the new wardrobes yet, she hadn't. I politely declined the opportunity to live in my own episode of 60 Minute Makeover, and suggested she go out and pick them and we could build them today instead. Now she is having a multi-day huff and acting like a fucking martyr who doesn't want any changes to the wardrobes on a point of retarded principle, and acting like she is surviving in a third world country because she is "having" to have her clothes in the old white melamine wardrobe instead of a new white melamine wardrobe.

It's stuff like that that makes me think she's *deliberately* trying to distract me from ever doing anything useful.
(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 11:20, closed)
Read too much Iain Banks?
Or Neil Gaiman?
(, Sat 7 Jul 2012, 16:18, closed)
Surely this is just a light reworking of the plot of Bullitt?

(, Sun 8 Jul 2012, 8:37, closed)

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